5-5 v Boomin Back Atcha
DC m 2, CB 1, TW 1, JH 1, AW m, TH, CG gk, TK

They don’t drive cars, they don’t drink and they have those really creepy beards without mustaches. But the weirdest thing about the Amish is their belief that pride is evil. Hence why their kids leave school at fourteen to work in factories and hence why some of those same kids get the hell out and start dealing meth with the local pickup driving godless heathens. Strange as it may seem there are in fact similarities between the Amish and the Nannas – a bond of Brotherhood, strange beards, barely closeted innuendo and some hard living times spent sleeping on the floor in Hastings. But there is one place where these two communities of like minded souls do not meet and that place has a name. It’s the name that King Lion uses when he’s talking about his Lion King family. It’s also a name closely associated with the gay movement but we’ll leave that alone for now. Pride. That’s what I’m talking about, and not in an Obama “go to the polls” kind of way, I’m talking about the pride in seeing a group of individual units come together to form a complex emergent system that is greater than the sum of it’s constituent elements. Pride in seeing your brother Nanna giving his utmost for the team, running till it hurts, sweating till it feels like something is going to pop in his head, shoving the opposition until he gets a yellow card, yelling at the ref until he starts awarding penalties to the other team, but most of all pride in seeing your brother nanna yelling at his team mates mid game… what a minute… ahhh… that’s not quite where this tale was meant to be headed…

So, 5 a piece. The Nannas were all over them at half time, but some how they came back, Jim the Amish barn raiser had a clear goal disallowed because the ref is technically blind. Tom yelled at the ref from the corner (but not at his fellow nannas), Chassy slotted in a superb ground hugger (jim take note) after a rapid fire 1-2 from the sideline (but he did keep tryong to tack the ball of his own team mates). Speaking of which, Jim took a free kick just as I was lining it up (which really pissed me off), though I was glad to hear that he wasn’t subbing as i had first thought. I miscued a shot early on and shinned the ball but somehow their goalie fumbled it in. Giller made some magnificent saves, some predictably crap kicks into the roof (ouch!) and one tasteful throw that hit me in the back of the head and bounced in. Kondo’s positioning was perfect for a Walmartin Backdoorâ„¢ but the goalie got just enough to it. Tao put in an extremely solid display, hustling, shooting and yelling. Wal also put in a MOM worthy display. Jim was shit.

The other big news for the night was the birthday celebs for Lord Chassy, first Earl of Martindale, takin’ it northside to the little creatures ‘gay beer’ hall. Mussels, shanks, not so little pilseners, waitresses with love beads. Then ditching the softcocks (kudos to the funky nanna) we touched it and went to the black cat for panty stains and some bespoke dubstep phatness. Pert passersby pressing themselves against the glass and mouthing sweet obscenities at chassy for his birthday, Walmartin talking up the benefits of ‘the ratio’. A gentlemanly lift in the funkswick falcon to the sunroom® (think viper room) followed by more beats, a cleansing pale ale or two (well actually just one), a similarly abstemious attitude towards the lords good herb and an in depth analysis of the VCI-300.

tidy.

ps.  I may have got the goals wrong
pps. here’s a fun game fro the comments – match the Nanna to his Amish brother
ppps. from frasay “If Andy and Chazzy had a love child, he’d look like this guy.”

Hartley, who faced 32 charges of fraud, used a number of aliases including Anthony Edward Hartley, Gregory Mulligan and Tony Lorenzo, Detective Felicity Mansell of Feilding police said.