THIS IS A TEST OF THE EMERGENCY MATCH REPORT SYSTEM (Not a test really. This is for real. This is what we’ve trained for.)

Holy sh1t Nannas there i was in my kitchen holding the modem/router going this piece of junk doesn’t fit in the toaster (ie it’s toast), ie the whole friggen internets is gone just up and fvcked off from my bedroom. Then I attempt a remote login, but the server is not recognising me. I’m hacking command line like a lesbian at a rug grooming convention but nothing. (Some of the less poindextrous of the Nannas may be lost about now) I’m right in the citrix kernel of some secure apache server deep under the Nevada desert in an old salt mine, zero’s and one’s just flying by my eyes like some bad hyperspace effect from the 70’s, but nothing. Ixnay on the postskay. What is a Nanna to do when faced with such an obstacle to his sworn duty? Order another mojito and say ‘so it goes’? No! He places upon his head his resourcefulman’s hat and offers up results and not excuses. So hereby goes the match report for last week so that all may see and be satisfied of it’s existence and that it may be posted to it’s rightful place as soon as my internets comes back or I work out what ‘command line’ means.

MATCH REPORT 080228

TK(GK) TH(MOM) DC(1 GOALS) RH TW AW JH

9 – 1 (We went down)

Man you should have been there, it was flippin’ hilarious! Captain rocked up with his right foot hanging on by half a tendon and some matted leg hair going “I’m right to play, really” as though it were naught but a bad Monty Python sketch. Then Cocky the prodigal Rudcock was like, “you’re schtick is weak. I’ve been in the old country too busy to write match reports, because I have been working on a whole bunch of new material that centre’s around sh1t dribbling out of my arse most of the time and then occasionally exploding forth in an hilarious punchline of fecal eruption”. And the Nannas were in agreeance that that was indeed some funny sh1t. The joke’s didn’t stop there, in fact they continued apace onto the field and sustained an uproarious hilarity for the duration of the match.

OK we went down. They avalanched us a bit at the end, and I reckon we were about 4-1 at one stage and not entirely out of contention. Teamwork was not in great evidence. Obviously if I am in contention for the MOM then our stars are not shining so bright. We were beat by a better team on the day who played a heap better than us. That is not to say we cannot beat them. We got a goal and kept our pants and that is something.