Well miracles do come true – the ball popped up in front of me just on our attacking side of the halfway line and the little baby jesus (blessed be his name) put the magic on my foot and I fuckingwell launched that son of a bitch back at those bastards with the force of a thousand suns exploding the fiery death of supernova nuclear fission power, the ball pretty much elongated into an ellipse with a molten point where physics failed and angels suffer ‘le petite morte’ and damn if that wasn’t a goal for the ages.

Then I fuckin’ mind fucked those kojaks from a set shot but the little ref fisted me so bad.

Perhaps the funniest moment was when their goalie was double nutmegged by a back pass, somehow he sort of lay down over the ball and put his arms on either side of it and then spread his legges to make the humiliation all the greater as it rolled into the goal like a slow vag stain – I think Andy may have flashed his cock at this ‘goalie’ at the opportune moment.

Cocky put one into the corner as only he can, and fuck me with the raw end of Donal Trump’s toupee if the fucking old 1-2s weren’t working. TRIANGLE OF POWER – PASS AND RUN NANNAS, PASS AND FUCKINGWELL RUN.

Started with a lovely hug all in.