The DIRTIEST EVER! Loss 2-1 to the Esperanza (so called but were they?)

CG, JH, RH, TH(MOM), James the ring in (1 goal and =MOM)

THE PROLOGUE (The setting of the scene)

Perhaps you can pop the little door in the middle of your forehead open and enter your mind’s eye and try for understanding, for we are seeking not a person or a place but a state of being, a being of equilibrium, an equilibrium of absolute equipoise, an equipoise of complete and utter parity. Can you conceive of  such a place? can your human consciousness perform the necessary contortions to properly perceive this state where no one entity holds dominion over another? Where all is neither more nor less than all else. Where the scales will tip to neither side, the little arrow forever perfectly teetering at the impossible apex of some mentally concocted device for measuring all that is in an unerringly balanced actuality. Take your mind there now… everything is equal… everything is everything else… everything is discarnate like high altitude clouds, in fact it is high altitude clouds and you are cruising through the high altitude clouds in a Gulfstream V. Now take this non-place state of being and make it real, give it flesh, can you make this utterly flawless symmetry physical and tangible? Can you take the next step on this inner journey? I hope you can because the next step is out the side door of the Gulfstream V, for what we must do now is see what you have until now only thought of, we must witness a true state of equilibrium made actual…

CLIMATICS

… first a detour, bear this in mind dear reader as you take the journey to heart break. Due to prevailing climatic conditions being ‘La Nina’ (the girl) it was real wet, and sure that water was getting in the building, water will always find a way. The ref regularly stops the game to dry the court or the ball so no one gets hurt, isn’t that nice?

DID I MENTION THE EVENNESS?

Sure it was pretty much true stalemate Fischer vs Kasparov (however but i don’t think they actually ever played against one another). I know you’re thinking WW 1 all those trenches, no one going anywhere, neither side able to gain an advantage that was an equal stoush right? Perhaps some of you may remember the epic Crooks vs Howie armwrestle of the Nannas Man Weekend 2010, two perfectly matched specimens, neither able to win. Well trust me idiots none of that shit has a flea’s dick on the evenness of this fucking match I am writing about right now. It was even fucking Steven as. Giller let a VERY uncharacteristic fumble in in the first half and then James the Ring In got a reasonably lucky long range shot in when their goalie was blinded. I.e I’m shitting you not it was tight. Two very large granite boulders of absolutely equal weight and neither able to move the other, two similarly massive Yellowstone bison repeatedly bashing their heads against one another. No one was going anywhere, and this is how it should have ended…

THE GREAT SADNESS

We all know tradgedy, we all know robbery, we all know dirty low acts. Well Nannas present at this match know them all rolled into one like a dirty low act robbery tragedy sushi roll of major pissed offedness, that’s sharpened to a point and stabbed right in your guts and can NEVER be removed, and has to live there all your days long, not being eaten like a normal sushi roll, but fuckingwell eating YOU! Can you believe that shit? Well believe it because it s REAL! Look at Jim’s guts now, look at Rhian’s, poor old Chris Gill’s stomach is an absolute mess of eternal agony and despair and it will be for EVER! Because of what happened to us on that soccer field on that night.

GEE, SOUNDS PRETTY SERIOUS.

What was the biggest robbery ever? Jesus, look it up on Wikipedia you lazy fucker. Probably some ex P.I.R.A dude and his mates got some guns and held a bank manager’s family hostage until he got all the Manager to open the safe or some shit, or some computer dick cheese stole all the .001 cents from all the transactions at the biggest bank in the world or some shit but anyway YOU’RE TOTALLY WRONG about both those things. Who are the biggest cheats in the universe? Maybe Thierry Henry using his hand to fist the Irish, maybe Maradonna using his hand to fist the English, anyway you’re wrong about that too my friend. Beacuse what happened to the Nannas that night was both the biggest sum act robbery and the biggest dirty low cheat ever! 9 seconds to go: Big Jim goes down on a wet patch; ball goes out; cheating opposition kicks the side ball over Jim’s prone body; ref does NOT halt play; cheating opposition gets a goal. FUCK I AM PISSED OFF EVEN WRITING THOSE WORDS AAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHH!!!!!!

DEALING WITH THE INEVITABLE EMOTIONAL DISTRESS

Only the finest Indian food this side of Bangalore! Yep you know it, all bets are off, the clock is reset, and all venues are fair game with the new year. Rhian took us to Aangan in deep far west Footscray and now Giller has a new girlfriend and her name is Mango Lassie.