Category Archives: match report

match report 071220

3 3 vs ?

dc (2 mom), tw (1), cb, ring-ins adrian (gk), phillipe

Who knows where all the nannas went ? Reigning champions one week, mild mannered dinner party guests the next, some nancy birthday party according to reports. Well at least Takeshi and Thomas had a valid (in fact the only valid) excuse being they weren’t in Melbourne (you hear that, you bunch of light lager drinking nancy boys !).

Anyways, we were fortunate enough to have a couple of ring-ins bolster the team. Ade stepped masterfully into goals and Phillipe lent some Gaulish flair to a tight five returning once again to the sacred pits. The 6.40 is a hard grasp (I’m still waiting for a fine after pulling a u-turn over the median strip on Kings Way !) and we kicked off with only 4 nannas on the pitch, luckily so too did the opposition. I always find it kind of weird when a game starts not quite right, like you really don’t have to run or something, which made it even weirder when the nannas took the lead through a toe poked effort from yours truly. I can’t really remember the sequence of events after that but Tao arrived as did his opposite number and then we ran a lot. Ade put in a couple of great saves and Phillipe had some nice ‘foot rolling on top of the ball’ styles. The Nannas never really found the fluidity of last week (which is to be expected) though late on Cassis made a very nice run through the centre of the pitch, drew the goalie and then offloaded for the striker to tap in. The tie ended in a draw which was kind of ok.
yeah, something like that.

then it was on to the ‘not looking so bad these days’ chief for beers and pottles of tartare where lots of bubbles were blown in glasses of lemonade and the big kids were ‘chas’tised for leading Solly astray on the absolutely filthy window ledge – Shubut !

Nannas Match Report 071108

Nannas vs The Team From the Bottom of the Ladder That Hung Around After Their Previous Game and One Traitor Nanna
DC CB CG JH AW TH
Mom TH/AW

Many years ago during the Kamakura Shogunate a bunch of masterless samauri roamed the lands. They were greatly feared and destroyed all who came before them. The were known simply as the Nan-Na. None could match their strength, ferocity, belief in one another or wisdom. Despite their more aged years and against younger, more nimble opposition they continued to reign undefeated because they fought hard and they fought smart and they fought with a warrior’s spirit. A group of them were wandering through the forest one day. Kokyo; the katana master, Bigu Jimu; on the bo or staff and philosophical ponderment, Cha-Chinko; fast, furious and deadly with the shuriken, Gira: makes two nun-chukkas look like about fifty, Wongauri: sneaky little knives that you don’t really see coming, and Cocho; who could only really yell loudly. They were looking to fight a young band of samauri who thought they were something, but this young band of samauri got cold feet, and fled to Malaysia so as not to have to face the awesome firepower of the feared Nan-na. This disappointed the Nan-Na greatly, who were eager for battle, so when they found a bunch of trainee peasant stick fighters who had never successfully won a battle, already weakened from a bloody skirmish they thought they could have a little sport with them. The Nan-Na should have crushed them, but they were smote utterly. Even when the loser peasant farmers were reduced to four men after Bigu Jimu’s mighty bo smacked into the tibia one of the rag wearing share croppers, they still continued to womp the mighty Nan-Na. In the end the Nan-Na were humiliated and it was a fucking disgrace of the most highest and supreme order of magnitude.

There’s not much point dwelling on the why’s for too long. Treasonry and treachery obviously played a role. Gira, normally the most loyal and honourable of Nan-Na turned traitor and went and fought for the peasant stick fighters with bits of skin peeling off their faces, but that wasn’t the main reason that the Nan-Na ended up with the severed balls of their comrades stuffed in their mouths. No the Nan-Na got royally fucked by a bunch of hick losers with wooden teeth and scurvy because they did not commit. They went at it like a bunch of French dukes fresh from a Versaille orgy waving their distended cocks around like they owned the joint, failing to appreciate that you don’t own shit unless you put your fucking money on the table, and you have to put your fucking money on the table every fucking week. Because even a bunch of illiterate scum who eat rat fur have a couple of cents and if that’s more than you are willing to pay because you think it’s a done deal you’d better stand by to taste freshly lopped ball sac.


Nannas Match Report 071101a

Nannas A Vs The Golden Nannas | 7-6 ?
CB, DC, RH, TH, TW, TK, AW, CG (goals to be confirmed)
MOM DC/RH/TW

After much unresolved discussion regarding the substitution policy of a “loose 8” the Nannas were left high and dry by whoever the fvck they were meant to be playing. No matter, the Nannas would fight it out amongst themselves. in The Brown corner under Captain Kondo (Woohoo! very great to have Takeshi back in the nanna fold) were DC, RG & AW, in the golden corner guided by Captain Gill were CB,TW & TH. Four aside means one thing, running. Nannas A started brightly and were looking good but The Golden Nannas started slicing us up and were soon well in front. In the second half the tables turned and Nannas A pulled it back ( a notable Hleb-esque strike from RH). It was neck and neck (though the golden nannas were in reciept of an own goal) when TW was heard to yelp before crumpling to the ground. Down to 3 men the Golden Nannas put up a valiant fight (whilst Nannas A seemed to go into slow mo) but it wasn’t enough, AW sliding home the nutmeg* winner in the dying minute…

but back to the subbing, dual goalie controversy. Le Coq Numerique has gone part way to solving the problem.

loose_8_subs.gif

…but wait there’s more. At the pub after the game The Nannas were treated to a sneak preview of the wonders of the CHDK firmware hack . Which is of special interest to the G7 owners in the crowd. Kudos to Guy “reach around” Fraser for wording up the author…

* possibly inaccurate

match report 071025 part c

vs The Annual (Wesley) 9-5
dc(4), cb(2), tw(2), jh, aw, rh(gk), owngoal(1)
MOM cb/rh/dc

“continues to sh1t in the mouths of his compatriots…”

So this is what I read as I sit in my little cubicle on a Thursday morning tirelessly working towards a greater future for all G7 owning nannas. This is the thanks I receive for my efforts to realise the true power of a camera crippled by it’s manufacturer to maintain market separation. Well I say to you Thomas “I hope you firmware is unsupported”. No Raw capture for you my brother G7 owning nanna, no in built intervlometer for you, no RGB histograms for you, no undecipherable stereo data information for you ! that is what I say…

But I digress. back to the far more pressing task of ceaseless self promotion, especially given these unstable and soon to unstabled times. I’m still not entirely sure that this qualifies (as far as I can tell I look like a total penis) but if you’ve got a spare 170 Mb of download lying around you can check for yourself sunday arts 14.10.2007. I’ll do it myself at some point and post only the incriminating section for those who can’t be arsed.

but back to the game. 7-0 ! sweet hey-zues ! The mighty Arsenal in Imperious form . Now this may seem like yet another digression but let me continue. If you take a close look at the sixth goal by boy wonder Theo Walcott two things come to mind. 1st (as stated by more or less every commentator) is that it bears an uncanny resemblance to the trade mark styles of Thierry Henry. 2nd is that the Nannas or perhaps more keenly The Annuals goalkeeper bore witness to two very similar strikes in the far more humble setting of the wesley indoor court. The Best looking Nanna, aka The Purple Headed Father of Two slotted in two almost identical shots. Running left and drawing the gaolie wide before pushing the ball across the face of goal with the deftest of touches off the outside of the boot. There was more magic. There were also other self similar goals. Chassy was in a speculative mood and passed a couple of long cross court balls coming in at just below hip hieght. While the Author managed to pull them out of the air with a fair to average degree of skill, the opposition were so sh1t that they allowed enough time for everyone to watch the ball bounce and “cock wallaby” belt the crap out of it on the half volley (very satisfying I might add). For his continual running and vigilince (and forgetting the occasional late pass) the slim hipped chassis was rewarded with a brace. Jim still continues to support Man U and thus didin’t score any goals. Andy Wong put in a late arrival (though his excuse was later deemed worthy) but was timing his runs to far post impeccably. On several occasions Wal was in exactly the right place at the right time but the pass never arrived (see above). And Finally the captain, selflessly stepping up to defend the sacred nanna portal. Some great saves (a couple of early naff through the legs too but who hasn’t done that 176 times themselves) coupled with some top shelf distribution…

ah well. very good nannas, sorry about the fecal oral…

Match Report 25/10/07 part b

vs Asian sensation? 9-4

DC 4, RH, AW, JH, CB2, TW2, own goal
MOM: RH, CB, DC
The tight 6 gave us fluidity. The opposition were neither fit nor skilful. The bunnies of the division. Hinkley very tight in goals (especially his netball style passes).
For the record, the writer scored a goal in addition to the 2 recorded that was disallowed by the ref because it was just too fucking fast and on target for his weak mind to comprehend (although everyone else on the pitch saw it).We dropped to their level in the second half and got all a bit sloppy, loose and complacent. Never a good combinahtzeeohnay. So this week we must go forward in going forward and be tidy, viselike and discontent.

Word up, off, out and over.

ps Cap’n in Drag AGAIN..

img_1750.jpg

MATCH REPORT 20070927

vs Asian Sensation 3-2

DC 2, CB 1, TW, TH, RH, JH, CG

MOM: CB

Well it all started a bit nerve wrackingly in peaceful northcote with a late pick-up from Gilly that caused the writer to phone Cap’n Hinkley in a blistering panic questioning, “hast thou forgot to pick me up?”. To this Cap’n H responded “Nay you idiot we are bearing down on you right now. Keep your cool man!”.

And thus they did pull up (as it were) and indeed we then took a wrong turn down Hillside (at Cap’n’s insistence) but finally caressed Slater with Falcon power and deposited one Shank D’Coq in the rear with moi.

We were on our bloody way and not a minute too soon. Talk of demerit points and potential lost licences en route did not deter our Keeper from keeping it slick and edgy in the travel.

A rearward park and arrival. Followed by a jolly good warm-up: hack, one touch keepings off and the running one touch drill. Interspersed of course with a solid potshot at the late and incorrectly entranced Weistsiders. Jim was ready for it.

Then rain, talk of tactics, talk of code and a tight huddling kickaround with patently aggressive tones. Inside at last and money dialled into our beloved Ref almost before he had finished the final blow.

The game then. And what a solid and spirited first half it was. The one-touch work really showing up in the game with some excellent quick passing that resulted in early goals for the Nannas. The first goal was a nice finish from D’Coq off a classy throw from Gilla. The second goal was a 123 starting with the writer centrecourt right, quick ball to D’Coq left then back to the writer running onto the ball and finishing decisively. The final goal was another great finish from D’Coq after a lovely set-up from Taozza.

Taozza impressed with some fine passing and defensive play. Jim was more alert and less alarmed this week. Tommy looked hot hot hot with a new haircut and shave. Gilla was in fine form and did a couple of double saves that were awesome. Cap’n had his shooting foot on and launched a couple of rockets that were unlucky not to be goals.

The second half was less impressive with the opposition clawing back two goals and nearly making a break for a draw towards the end. However we held on and sweet victory was our bedfellow once again. Unanimity expressed on pleasures of winning.

Back to the empty Windsor for jugs, crisps and gusts of smoke blowing in from outside. Strong work Nannas!

MATCH REPORT 20070920

team_photo_070920_small.jpg

vs Los Pitufos 3-1
CB 1, DC 2, TW, JH, TH, AW, CG, RH
MOM: CB

They were young, younger than us although that wasn’t apparent to begin with. They could have been 34ish but they weren’t. They were teenagers with no calcification, no arthritis, no dodgy ankles. All we had was our hurting bombs and we kinda used ’em.

The game began with a very tidy yet explosive powerball from Cocky on the right. He punched crosscourt on the run and the ball made no bones about hitting the net with gusto. So we were one goal up and then things started to get ugly. Its hard chasing a bunch of teenagers around for too long and chinks in the Nannas fitness armour began to show. Chinks in the Nannas awakeness armour also began to show with Cocky giving Jim a good sideline berating for his statuesque behaviour oncourt. Jim defended himself by saying he was in defence and didn’t need to run onto the ball. Mmmm, 2 and 2 is four Jim you do the sums. On the subject of berating, Tao uncharacteristically screamed at the writer for being out of position only moments before the writer successfully made the tackle. To which the writer responded (with uncharacteristic indignation) that Tao should save the ‘telling off’ till after the f**k-up and not before.

But I digress. After a lot of yelling and a lot of mess, the opposition equalised near the start of the second half. A lovely offensive play involving the writer and Tao resulted in Cocky slotting his second goal of the match. Soon after, the writer struck gold from the right after a vigorous fend-off of the opposing defender.

The game was ours. A 3-1 victory. The aftermatch function was held at the Windsor Castle (home of the fourteen dollar jug). With eight Nannas in attendance it seemed appropriate to convene a formal planning meeting (please see big Jim Hannan for the ensuing ‘actions register’).

Plans for a new lighter weight fast drying uniform were discussed. And November 24 has been locked in for the Second Ever Nanna Beachbox Poker Function At Mt Eliza (SENBPFAME).

MATCH REPORT 30/08/07

Nannas versus LOS PITUFOS
1 : 6
RH (c), CB, AW, TW, JH, Marek the EEL
Goals RH 1
MOM: RH

The  game started with a flurry and a rush of excitement, Marek the eel in goal, slippery, elusive with sharp teeth, lungs of pure nicotine and liver stained black with short black madness.

We were excited and hot, damn hot. The flurry of opening passes was bedazzling chazzy to Weis to Wong to Hinkley, back to Chazzy to Hannan, Hannan pushes forward, to Weis to Wong, accross the face to Hinkley on the burst, he winds up from 400metres out, somewhere in the car park, his mighty legs of steel create a wind that screams through the court, followed by the remnants of a soccer ball, shredded upon impact, that ends, deflated in the back of the net.

The game went downhill from there and we played like a pack of moist towelletes, dirty ones.

The EEL held his own and earned his Nanna badge with distinction.

MATCH REPORT 20070823

070923_team_small2.jpg

vs ASIAN SENSATION 6-5

RH, CB, DC, TW, TH, CG, JH

MOM CB

Look this game happened a while ago now and since then the writer has been violated by one James Hannan. This violation had the unfortunate result of the erasing of my carefully inscribed details of a momentous Nannas match of football. The details of the game had been lovingly etched on some garden variety paper product and then stored carefully in the rear pocket of the writer’s pants. After the ensuing metaphorical reacharound bestowed on the writer by the aforementioned Hannan; the writer withdrew the garden like sheaf only to discover it to be damp and rubbed raw and lifeless of any intelligible etchings.

From memory then; we won. Ending an unprecedented losing streak. Dan got a goal. There was a crowd of 70,000 (whoops that was the Argentina match at the G), umm we went to the Windsor afterwards. The writer got the MOM without scoring a goal (some put that down to x factor). The writer felt no great pride in his performance but is honoured by the honour bestowed on him.

May this beacon of victory shine forth and illuminate other victorious beacons and also beakers full to the brim of lightly carbonated amber truth fluid.

Go Nannas!

MATCHREPORT 070727

070726_team_small.jpg

Nannas versus THURSDAY NIGHTS
3 : 5
RH (c), DC, TK, AW, TW, CG, JH
GOals CG 2, TW 1
MOM: CG

The Nannas steeled themselves for a massive night. It was an emotional farewell for one of the brownest, takeshi Kondo, who was off to fight a small war (in brown!!) with some Hollywood maggots. It was his last game and we had to send him off in Brown style.

We faced off against an old foe, Thurday night, a bunch of winging pinheads of the highest order. As the game commenced Rhian painted his face like Mel Gibson in that stupid movie…..and roared and ripped open his nanna top! GO HARD he yelled….And with that the Nanna men were resolute! The Thursday night fools were chasing (Tight brown) tails!!!
Their first two goals came from NASTY deflections – nothing could be done, nothing at all.

The nanna’s did not let this set back hurt them. Down 2 – 0 at half time optimism was Rhians next ploy. Stil play the ball around, and don’t forget to shoot. But definitely try to forget the fact that a certain Nanna had chosen the movies over the game ( a nanna first we think!)

They got another goal, but still the nannas smiled. The extreemly handsome goalie threw a long ball and it rubbed the noggin of a hapless defender – GOAL TO THE NANNAS, we’ll take them how we get them,,,…

Then Toa(wer) of Power stung like a bee from a kick in and once again an Irishman named Rick O’Shae played a part. They got one more to make it 4 -2. Them after a furious passage the ball came free and that goalie pounced and drilled it for a goal.

With incredible pressure on the pinheads, the brave nannas kept pushing on. Then came the moment for rhian. Facing a mountain of a goalie who was falling towards him, Rhian was forced to chip and curve a ball over the goalie and trying to drop it then into the goals and not get pinged for a high ball. The shot from Rhian was sweet he did everything a captain should do, except the ball must have been a Carlton fan…it struck the bar a Rick O’Shae’d away. To come so close , yet not drink from the cup of joy!!!

Chris absolutely wiped one of the wingeing maggots out in a personally great moment, but they had a penalty and scored. It was a good game and the Nannas can be proud, however, not fully brown.

There must be a bit of soul searching for Nannas who choose a non brown option, but they are questions that they must face…..

Match report 070719

070719_team_small.jpg

vs Dead Dead Zombies

Nannas: AW, CB, DC, JH, RH, TW, TK

MOM: TK

0-5

What is happening in this season? Are we hibernating or what! While seeing the amazing video work of Dan at the CCP exhibition opening, I had some thoughts ”What could I do best to win the game tonight?”. Simple quick answer from myself “Perform well”. “How can I jump high with a skate board with L shape?” another answer from myself, “Concentrate”

OK, it has to boost my ability instantly somehow. Is there such a convenient way to make that happens?
The other answer was “Run”

So I decided to get the pit by running and my mental game started. The night of winter Melbourne was so beautiful. I was almost captured by the melancholic thoughts when I was running pass the Family, children, hot girls, river, bridge, station, pubs and taco bill but always another myself was whispering these words to me like a death spell. “We need to teach the opponents.” “We respectfully need to teach the team at the top of the ladder.” “We need the winning to teach ourselves.”

I was so excited, crossed the city quickly and arrived the Albert park 90 min before the game started.

I will leave a bit late next time…

Match report 070705

070705_team_small.jpg

vs HYDEROOS
Nannas: AW 1, CB, DC 2, JH, RH, TH 1, TW, TK

MOM: TK

4-6

How long you have been waiting for this time? The couch is back on the field.

The game was started by the lead of opponent but we were chasing them tight. We were playing in front and keep pushing up. The great invisible goal of Andy fired up Nannas last half. All of us had strong feeling to win this game. We almost took over the opponent the night. The feeling and the rush, it is something we need to remember.

After the game, we headed off to Railway and had a fantastic offer from our captain for the next Nanna function on the beach. Wait for the report! BRAVO Mt Eliza!!!

nanna_voting.jpg

070628 Nannas v Gash Backs

070628_team_small.jpg

Nannas: DC, CB, RH, AW, JH, TK
Goals: DC 3, JH 2, CB 1
MOM: JH (the initial poll was tied with Striker the other main vote getter. But Striker was stripped of joint MOM on account of receiving a red card)
Result: Nannas:6 Opposition:9

After suffering the ignominy of yet another defeat, it is clear the Nannas are having one of those patches that befall all sports teams. One could be forgiven for thinking our lack of wins is a long-term thing, almost like those miserable All Blacks whose long quest to capture another World Cup will seemingly have to wait another four years.

Certainly, the Nannas’ form is inconsistent and during game time goes up and down like a parent with new child. But this has been an interrupted season for the Nannas, with only the Captain, Andy Wong, Tao (when not honeymooning) and Cocky (when not making bad art) being certainties to start.

This might not seem a new phenomenon but this season when we went down the losing path our personnel issues did create problems, not least when we could only field a tight five and subsequently got run off our feet.

And so to last week’s game, and it has to be said that the opposition’s finishing was exemplary, but apart that they were very beatable. Too many times when the Nannas needed to tighten up and show some real fight we were found walking and watching. And then when we did find some momentum, which only seems to be a second half thing these days, and came within a goal of our foe, the game was stripped from our grasp in the cruellest possible manner.

Special mention goes to the Striker for the colourful language he directed toward the referee. Sometimes a man needs to say what’s on his mind even though he knows the consequences will be dire.

Special mention also goes to the Coach for his rocking up after the game and then accusing Striker for his lack of commitment to the team. Coach takes the dubious honour of perpetrating one very obvious double standard.

match report 070621

070621_team_small.jpg

1-3 vs Thursday Knights – Albert Park Pits
DC(mom), RH(1), AW, CG, JH

Yep, another stinkin’ loss! but not without merit.

The Nannas have been hammered by these limeys before so we did none too poorly to restrict them to 3, while the Captain snuck a late ball under the well covered goalie to keep our pants on. There was some OK possession play but, as Giller pointed out, that’s not really how the nannas score goals. Playing possession football also requires an ability to push into gaps, open defenses and run on to that final pass – not something the nannas are known for doing with much regularity. The majority of Nanna goals at this level seem to come from scrubbing and hustling, jostling a loose ball and limping it over the line while the goalie is down. Its the final move we’re missing, either we need a striker with some foot skills (including the ability to kick with a left foot) who can actually take on a defense – especially the one on ones with the keeper – or we need to really focus on the final combinations, develop some interplay skills in front of the box, where there’s a little bit more expectation between the front two as to what may actually be about to happen. Call it prediction, call it set plays, call it future reading, call it what you will, it’s what we need. hell what we really need is some training, I’m sure that some basic strategic practice would lift the Nanna game by at least 3 – 4 %, and that my brown friends is the difference between losing badly and almost winning !

p.s. the 21st of July has been locked in as the inaugural beach box poker event. the nannas will get crazy high on a cocktail of bourbon and hollywood nose buffet before losing their money and passing out in the sand… tasteful !

Match Report 24/05/07

070524_team_small.jpg

8-1 vs ?? [the pits]
RH TW 1 AW DC James(ringin)

Who says you need a Goalie – The Nannas do.
No Gillie no TKondo no good answer to anyone pointing towards our goal and swinging their legs.

It was a meek Nanna response to an unconvincing opposition.
We started well, infact it may have been nil-all right up to the 10 minute mark. The following 3 or 4 minutes were far less flattering, it may have been a goal a minute there for a while.

On the brightside Tao showed a real flourish of Nanna spirit and finished a back heel from the reigning striker with pin point accuracy.

Much kudos to James (not Hannan) for a last minute Ringin role, especially for since it was a no-goalie ring-in debut.

It’s time for the famous Nanna mid-season turn around.
Avalanche
Avalanche
Avalanche

Goal frenzie ladies that’s what we’re looking at this week.

Match Report 17/05/07

8-2 vs Thursday Knights [the pits]
RH 1 TW 1 TK JH AW TH

It’s not often that you can hold your head up high and talk proudly of a game after losing by 6 goals but that’s exactly what this proud Nanna did. And I’d do it again, no question.

It was a tight five, and a determined tight five too
Unlucky to go down so hard, early luck was against us as the ball bounced kindly for the opposition, at least three lucky, pussy goals. It’s hard to defend against pure dodgy luck goals.

Moving forward we showed flashes of brilliance, Jim and Tao teaming several times before the captain sent Tao through with a back-heel, Tao finishing delightfully from a tight angle. Wal and the captain teamed up for a set piece execution from the land of perfection but those two goals were all we could muster.

The table looks grim with Nans clawing the bottom but there was a lot of good to be taken from the night.

match report 10/05/07

10_05_07_small

2-5 vs dead dead skillful [the pits]
DC 1 TW RH TK CG JH1 CB AW

MOM CG

Within the first 30 seconds of the game I dived to my right to save a goal (i did by the way) and landed on my hip, heavily. MY ASSSS IS SOOOO SORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

its SO SORE

That is probably all I should write about last nights game. It was not an attractive night if you wear cardigans and knit.

We held them off for a long time. It was nil all for nearly the whole first half, but in the last few minutes they snuck two past my SORE ASSSSS!

We rallied slightly at the start of the second half to draw level with erogenous work from Dan in close and a RIGHT foot goal from the most recent Nanna to share his gene pool.

Then…..oh then they touched us in a very private place. I dare not look them in the eye after what they did.

We only really have ourselves to blame, but they were maggots, we should not deny them that title, well maybe only the blonde boy…..

Keep on fighting brown men, do not go gently into that good night, but rage, rage again the dying of the plight….

match report 070426

3-3 vs hyderoos [the pits]
DC 5(3) | CB 4 | RH 4 | AW 1 | CG 1(gk) | TH 3(coach)

The Nannas looked to have the game under control after Daniel Crooks had put The Brown men ahead following some nice passing in the box.

A midfielder from the opposition team whose name is unknown struck from 30 yards, drilling the ball into the bottom corner beyond Chris Gill, and then said: “We need to sort out the sloppy goals from set-pieces.

“Thankfully I popped up with a nice goal. I think we were feeling we would not get much from the game after the way we played in the second half.” He added on themightfightingnannas.com: “To come back as we did a point felt like it was the winner. The late goal gave us a lift.

“We are conceding goals but we are scoring them too and that means we are still on course for the APISC Cup.”

The Nannas boss Tom Howie was disappointed with a draw after an ‘eventful week’ which saw the departure from the playing field of his close friend Leg.

“We wanted to give victory to Leg today,” Howie told themightyfightingnannas.com, “and it was an eventful week.”

“We should have won by five goals,” he claimed. “We didn’t see Hdeyderoos creating many chances today but they scored three goals.

“It’s the story of the season. Fantastic spirit but we have to learn to make the most of our chances. “We hit the post three times and I think we should have scored at least five times today.

“It’s a little bit about confidence – maturity as well. The basic ingredients are fantastic and we produced some exciting football.”

Match Report 18/04/07

070418_team_small.jpg

Attendees: CB, CG, TW, DC, JH, TH (coach),HC (assistant coach) AW, RH
Goals: DC(2)
MOM: JH,RH,DC,CB
AUNT: RH
Captain Kurgen stared out through the thermo-tempered glass as his cruiser arrived to pick him up, he kissed his wife and child goodbye before bracing himself for the blast of the airlock and laucnching himself directly into the familiar surrounds of the cruiser cabin. Chas Brown locked in the coordinates and striker hit the launch button, sending the camrytron overdrive into warp and sending the crew deep into the outer Albert System. In the gloom up ahead the crew could already see Futsal, surrounded by its three moons and its gangs of marauding soldiers.

Striker put the cruiser into orbit and slowly the rest of the task-team arrived. Battle weary soldiers, excited by the prospect of a final showdown, a chance for supremacy. The pre-battle briefing was about to begin when the coach arrived in full battle dress with a lip smothered in respect. “I’ll be controlling things from up here” he whispered into his communicator, “but this time I’ll have company”. He threw back the door to show a Huge Covill looming in the dark, built in the likeness of a man, but with giant cannons for legs, standing 3 metres high he was an awesome sight. “He’ll stay with me” barked the coach, “we can’t let him loose just yet”.

The ground-force beacon crackled from the control deck, “skirmish below, you’ll be in orbit for a further 18mins”. The coach and captain looked grimly at each other, this was news they didn’t need, the tension was already high, it would only get higher.

“Feed the Grilla and load the Hannantron” ordered Kurgen. Dutifully the team opened the cage doors and threw chickens to the giant grilla, locked to its net, like a spider ready to pounce. Then Striker opened the pharmacutical box and measured out a cocktail strong enough to kill a thurmasauron and slipped it down the throat of the sleeping Hannantron, the giant beast barely stirred, simply nodding its head in appreciation.

The siren went and the battle started. And what a start. The enemy came out strong and ruthless, mercilessly knocking down barrier after barrier and sweeping in two successful raids before the crew had time to steady. Emotionally the damage was huge and it took desperate measures from strong men at the back and a vigilant Grilla to stop an avalanche. Corporal Chas Brown led the run into the danger zone bravely, forcing defensive switch and then switch again, forcing attack and counter attack. But the enemy were strong and again they swooped, angry and loud, screaming through the meek shields. Chas found fault in the speedie midwork of lance corporal Tao Weis who was caught off guard, his response was wild and erratic, losing control of his hover vehicle and sending friendly fire spewing in all directions, not a single crewman remained unscathed, and when he finally regained the wheel another attack had swept through.

The second half of the battle was a much more even affair, Corporal Weis and Striker teaming up delightfully and fruitfully, the elusive Wallmartin, with his ability to disappear, sneaking around the backdoor on several occasions and a solid defensive unit providing a steady platform. But the giant cannons of the hannantron and the Grilla seemed wayward, blasting forever skyward and making no impact on the offensive front.
The enemy locked down and the battle was lost.

A tired, sad and angry crew made their way back to the nutrient post South of the solar river and dined on parmagana. The coach bestowing his battle medal to the captain for duties in combat. It was small reward for a desperate day.

Futsal still glows in the evening sky, and on a clear night you can hear the pounding feet and cries of

“mark up nannas, jesus, what the fuck are you guys doing?”

Match report 120407 (Semi-final action)

Attendees: CB, CG, TW, DC, JH, TH (coach), AW, RH
Goals: JH, CB
MOM: JH

Tommy thought long and hard about what to wear for the evening.
Tao needed a nostril reconstruction.
Chas was convinced that people were talking about his bum.
Andy was on time and duly mocked for his commitment.
Hinkley and Dan sported respect but the latter seemed to having some anger management issues.
Gill was all brown in a very becoming tracksuit.

I started on the bench, which was good. Being unsteady on my feet, I wanted to see how the game progressed before entering the fray. In the coach’s room long before the contest, there was instruction on the art of mind-fuzzying. Our manager insists that I think too much and play much better on instinct. I think he could be right.

The Nannas put two goals away in the first half. I remember the first one inasmuch as I can still feel my foot making contact with the ball.

I do know that Chasm scored the second but the details are hazy. His arse might have had something to do with it.

The second half for the spectators was disappointing but only because they could not join in the adrenalin frenzy that the Nannas had whipped up on court. The Browns were unlucky on several occasions not to go further in front. And they never looked threatened at the back.

Afterwards the pub played host to the coach getting yelling out of his system.
Cocky tried to re-ignite his anger over a controversial MOM vote but even he was spent.
Good sleeps were had by all.

Match report 050407 (Part 1)

Attendees: CB, TW, DC, CG, JH
Goals: CB 4, DC 2, JH 2
MOM: CG, JH
Opposition: Allens FC (second division, and rightly so)

One notorious premiership manager calls April, May squeaky-bum time. Well I reckon Sir Alex would get a lot out of the footage from the Nanna’s Thursday game because on display were very brown, super-clean bottoms.
For the Nannas it was a tight-five set-up. And tight we were. So tight in fact that the opposition soon found all their hopes and dreams for a competitive match dashed and they quickly resorted to tactics that are best described as wanker-ish.
Tao pointed this out to the referee but was rebuked, shown yellow. Dan took matters into his own hands and was shown red.
While Cocky was off court the opposition wanted to relive their hopes and dreams of rippled nets, filled with pounded balls. But fantasies are quickly snuffed out when reality is nearby, which took the form of Chasm parading his ample chest and super-squeaky buttock. Displays like this are hard to ignore and the Allens were held firmly in check by an aroused Nanna quartet.
In the spirit of Easter (whatever that means) Cocky was allowed to re-enter the fray and the Nannas went from defence to offence quicker than Gilla could say “this team are a bunch of fools”.
Highlights:
Dan’s wide grin as he led with his head toward his opposite number.
Chasm’s ample chest and squeaky-clean buttock.
Tao’s dissing of the referee walking down the stairs out of the stadium post-game.
Gilla re-telling how he was a sole queue person outside Workshop.

Match Report 22/03/07

golf image

RH TW TH JH CG no MOM TH one goal
Captain Strikes another one past the 300m mark, Jim blows his load and the fireworks begin.
It’s lucky Gilly was there to document it or nobody would believe it. Finally we get proof of the previously mythical “skyrocket load” that has been a constant rumour in Nanna circles since the infamous shower scene after last seasons finals win. We believe you now Dan, he really puts on a spectacle, Justine is a lucky Lady.
For the record, Thomas hit the holden sign and the tractor twice, tao hit the tractor and the post and there was some really classy parking.

match report 070315

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3-11 vs Thursday Knights [MacRobertson]
DC 3, TW, RH, AW, TK(gk), TH(coach, temp goalkeeper)
MOM DC

It was a tight five, again,
and it was bloody hot, again.

But – we kept our pants on a little more than last outing against these limey nuff nuffs. The first half was pretty tight with some nice possession play and some excellent passing back style moves. Tao had a glaringly obvious goal disallowed which was a bloody travesty and the fatty in goals at the other end looked well sheepish. ‘Come on lads’… my arse! Can’t remember the exact sequence of goals but the half time score was 3-5. After some confusion in the goal mouth (fatty palming balls off the floor and rolling around like a jelly wrestler) DC managed to find the net. This was followed by some nice passing and an aggressive run into the area by Bestlookingnanna™ who drew the goalie before squaring perfectly it for DC to tap in. The Captain was putting in some sterling defense work and even ran past a nimble limey after a nice feign (didn’t work a second time however, dirty nimble limeys). Wal (who arrived late, forcing the Coach™ into an early and extremely risky goal-keeping venture) made a couple of nice runs to the back door but didn’t quite get the delivery he was expecting (not sexually, not like Leaving Las Vegas). Kondo was making some fearless saves in the ugly face of an overly aggressive style of play peddled by the Eng Landers.

But – then it all went to shit! The nannas ran out of legs (“push up wal, I’ll stay back *pant*, *gasp*”) and ideas. Tao was harshly denied again, this time by the post, Striker™ had no idea about the subsequent rebound that hit his leg before bouncing uselessy wide. The game finally ended with the opposition circling the goal mouth like pommy vultures, passing it around the box before tapping home. Kondo made a couple of great saves to frustrate them somewhat in this endeavour but it was pretty ugly at the end… not to mention f**cking hot !

But – we did finally make it to Section 8 for beers, dumplings and desserts dipped in soy sauce, with a bona fide Nana no less (El and Lus Nana that is, who was also at the game in a supporting role, although she seemed the most impressed by Thomas’ coaching – “… has Thomas played soccer at quite a high level before?” say what ?). We were also joined for post match discussions by our Nanna brethren, Jim (after a hard nights proffesional writing training ???) and Chas (treading the disorganised charity boards) – nice.

ps. I had a post match shower for the first time ever. (In the ladies toilets no less (I mean it is a girls school)…. dirty!)

match report 070308

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1-6 vs Gash Backs [MacRobertson]
DC 1, CB, TW, RH, AW, TK, JH, TH(coach)
MOM CB, DC, TK

Not a great one for the Nannas, not one to remember, and not one that I really do remember…

The opposition had a few skills, though not many and not really enough to outclass the nannas, but they did have a much better sense of team cohesion and the outward appearance of a game plan, which of course is something generally lacking in the nanna camp. On the upside there was some nice passing in the early part of the game, due in no short part to the intensive pre-game drilling in the foyer. The gash backs (what the f**k is a gash back ?) took a psychological advantage with the first goal and some overly robust play “it was 50/50 ref !”, yeah right ! They lacked pace however and the nanna forwards were making inroads by running around and down the flanks DC and CB had a couple of shots palmed away but were void of any real penetration (regardless of chas’ continued and thankless running). Jim was seen to be lacking in commitment on a couple of occasions and was yelled at once by Chas. Tao insisted on standing on the ball before shepherding into untenable situations. everyone was playing pretty shit really, as witnessed by the MOM vote, one of the most evenly spread to date with nannas having trouble deciding who was the least rubbish…

ps [070319] minor oversight, i forgot to mention the crappest moment of the night, DC made a final bruising charge into the area, was clumisly manhandled by the muppet in goals but managed to stay on his feet and and was just about to tap the ball into an open gaol, too late, the ref had already blown his whistle and was poiting at the spot. As Striker™ stepped forward the final siren sounded… high drama, a penalty outside the normal parameters of the game, a chance to save some face, but no !!! the goalie went the wrong way but D’Coq totally cocked it up and shot at his leg, deflection, no goal, dirty c**k s**king mother f**ckers….

070301 – Children of the Fricken Corn

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Holy shit! We look like we are about to take up axe handles, pitchforks and gasoline torches, and head on into a convent to do Satan’s work. Look at Wal and Chas for Christ’s sake, are they not eyeball eating twins from some Stephen King novel. Gill is like, ‘sure I’ve killed a hundred children, and i will kill a hundred more whatever’. Even Nice Guy Hannan looks like he is only smiling because he is having a footbath in babies blood or something. Cocky and Tao look like they want to hurt someone real bad. Kondo is a dimension of pure evil hidden in the darkness, and Rhian looks an angry extra from Watership Down.

Match Report 070302

6-3 vs Jossie’s Giants [MacRobertson]
CB 3, DC 3, TW, RH, AW, TK, CG, JH, TH(coach)
MOM CB

It looked for a minute like we could be down to five players with Gilly and Tao having health issues and Wal silent in the flurry. However it was a fine brown team of eight plus one coach Thermos that sauntered into MacRobertsons Girls College to fulfil their destiny last evening.

An early goal from CB put us one up in the first quarter. This was equalised fairly soon after and it looked like a possible Nanna’s apple crumble. DC let one fly and we pushed in front to 2-1.

There was a fair amount of argy-bargy from the other team which pleasingly resulted in several free kicks to the Nannas.

TH firmly reminded the Nannas at half-time that if he said we were in D then thats where we should be. Consequently the defensive play in the third quarter was particularly good. DC and CB struck gold several more times earning themselves a hattrick each respectively and a double-hattrick for Northcote.

The opposition managed to score a couple of bananas and it would have been more if it were not for some excellent saves by CG.

A pleasing result and well-deserved.

Post-match at the Railway and Hinkley produced the stats in graph format to a chorus of oohs and aahs from the impressed Nannas. See below.

MATCH REPORT 070201

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Vs crystal clear water cocksuckers
DC 2, JH 1, AW, TW, TK
MOM TK

Hail the kings! The striker has become 34 years old. Waiting for him in front of the strip bar near the Richmond station for 5 minutes, the king of the striker on the Thursday arrived with the golden brown uniform and talked about “What is like being 34” in his car. He says it is definitely not like young 33 year old punk. It is more like the mid thirties. Ahh.. we are now climbing up the highest moment of the life……

Ok, the game started with a cheeky goal from opponent and the striker paid back 2 goals quickly. This is the way the king lives. The devitalizing third goal from Jim essentially ended the first half silently.

Even the tight five gave them enough pressures, the opponent focused better at the last half and firing good shoots. I stopped few and missed some. Haaa… They even scored to own goal and the game has ended 4-4. out of control.. bring goggle nannas next game.. I will bring flash B… Ahh… if my legs were log enough as thefunkynanna, I could stop more gials whenever I want etc.

We finished the night near the beach and had the best burgers in the town with the corona beers as Andy suggested. Thanks for finding the lemons for the coronas Tao! I admire the men who can not drink corona without lemon. It is a memorable night with the nice sea breeze and the fun casual talk re the future life with the king of the striker as the evening goes on for the age of the empire…

MATCH REPORT 070208

2-2 – Thursday Knights – MacRob
TW 1, CB 1, DC, JH, RH, CG, AW, TH (coach)
MOM CG

THAT WAS A TIGHT ONE!!!!!!!!!!!

AND MY KNEE REALLY HURTS AGAIN!!

The Nannas gave new definition to the word “brave” last night. Obviously out classed and out aged the weary brown men stood as tall as their spines would allow.

The match started with one of them RIPPING a hell toe poke into the top right corner, this was followed by another great goal across the face. We started to look at each other with “that look” in our eyes….It wasn’t until the coach Tommy came running onto the court and turkey slapped each one of us. AWAKE he yelled….From there we got one cheaky one back before half time.

The second half belonged to old ladies in cardigans. We had that many shots that rebounded of the bars and it was only a question of time before we struck again. We did and yet they continued to press. It must have been a warm night because a few nannas we a touch slow to double back and “get in D”…We go there with a second to spare as they made one last flurry.

The only interesting point to come of this match report is the precedent that will be set. I believe there is a missing match report – surely there has to be reprisals. Comments please…

Still the nannas for this season remain – UNDEFEATED!!!!

Match Report 250107

vs Jossies Giants 8-2
CB 2, DC 2, TW 2, JH 2, CG, TH (coach)
MOM CB

Are these guys not being fed or what? A hungry fiver of hardened nan-power stepped onto the court at the pits last night for a ravenous display of classic Nanna football glory.

Although the writer acknowledges the objective and inalienable truth of his being voted MOM this week, he cannot help but borrow the comment that it was the team that was the winner.

The eight goals we scored were divided evenly among the on-field players with everyone taking two each.

There was a lot of good passing. Jim was blisteringly on target. Cocky was all over it up front and pulling off some of his lovely trademark turns. Taozza was winning every fiftyfifty challenge and the writer ran quite a bit and nailed home an obligue angle shot at maximum velocity. Gillla continued to astound the opposition with stopping the unstoppable shots.

Tommy was solid on the touchline with a one-legged tripod and rousing advice and encouragement.

A great victory. Nannas undefeated in the top division.

061214 Finals action between Nannas and Hyderoos

Playing: CB, CG, JH, AW, TW

Boundary riders: TH, DC

Goals: JH2, CG1, TW1

MOM:JH

There are sometimes in sport, when competition takes on a life of its own and the protagonists are swept along on a trajectory all their own. So it was last night as a very special, tight five, Nanna outfit brushed aside an insipid opponent with little trouble. Almost from the first whistle a well defined Nanna shape developed, with as many as three brown men behind the ball at any one time, with the occasional surge as men in defence pushed upfield to take the game in new directions. Although there were hints of the usual Nanna game of over-excitement and a one-touch too many, there was also an overriding poise, or grace, to the Nannas, which effectively subdued the opposition and took them out of the game. It was if the Browns knew the opposition was not up to snuff if there was on display true Nanna respect. Indeed, a special Nannerian performance was afoot, and once the first goal went in this feeling only grew.

And what a goal it was. Gill, in the first minutes of play, took a range finder to the opposing goalie’s net, thinking, “yeah, better just loosen up the arm, get my bearings”. Well, the throw was on target and much to his team’s chagrin, Gill’s opposite number tried an ill-advised catch. The ball went straight through his fingers and the net shivered like a virgin, touched for the very first time. Like an idiot the blue keeper looked at the ref hoping some ancient, little known by-law of the world game might save him. But alas the ref pointed to the middle of the court and said, “try again boys”. One nil.

The second goal was somewhat more conventional but no less of a kick in the nuts to the opposition. After some highly competent defence and counter attacking, the Nans had a kick-in deep in enemy territory. Tao, sensing an opportunity was ripe, lay off a sensitive little pass with the outside of his foot. James, who was waiting for just such an opportunity, settled himself, cocked his favoured left boot and, concentrating on keeping the ball on the carpet, struck true. The shot didn’t do as he or Cocky, who was shouting instructions from the sideline, wished but did find the top right corner of the opposition’s goal. 2 zip. That’s the way it stayed until half time.

The third goal was a thing of pure beauty. The blues had a pussy shot at goal. Our goalie chested it down and ran – ran the lines like a fool, and almost made it to the opposition’s little circle. The soft blue goalie came out to stop me, but I feigned to the right and slipped a pass out to Tao (who was wearing a trench coat with a red carnation), who just walked it in. 3 zip.

The Nans, who went to the break in the ascendancy, rode their luck it’s true but chance is made by true grit and, last night, the inspirational sight of Chas, the fittest Nanna ever, in full flight, ducking and weaving passed opposition players. It has to be said that Christopher was also very unlucky not to have a couple by the end of the first stanza.

Although Tommy, with his leg newly wrapped in green anti-moisture material, delivered several pearls of wisdom at half time, the second half started with the opposition pegging a goal back, through a combination of Nanna confusion in D and a fortunate bounce of the ball off Gill. 3-1.
Mid way through the second stanza, the game was put beyond doubt as James ran into space and received a long throw from Gill. Taking it down on his chest, and again putting it into the path of his favoured left boot he tried a speculative shot to the opposite corner from where he was turning. Much to his surprise, and maybe with a slight deflection, it found that corner. 4-1.

After that, the game slowed considerably and the Nannas were seen frustrating their opponents. This is where the aforementioned Nannerian grace really came into its own. Andy Wong was the principle proponent of this tactic, wasting no time or energy on trivial matters or hectic schedules. With soothing words for his comrades and an unquenched love of running, he was what you would expect with five minutes to go and the game all but over: a picture of calm confidence inflicting the final blows on an already beaten opponent. Tao, following his lead, was seen congratulating the referee on several calls that went against him, while on the sly tripping up and grabbing at opponents, even though he was in every aspect playing far above any challenger he came up against. Gill, at this point, feigned not knowing where he was and tried to take the ball off the court, like the match was over. He was grabbed unceremoniously by some jerk in blue, who tried unsuccessfully to wrench the ball out of his hands. The opposition knew the jig was up, and although they huffed and puffed, they were never going to better a supreme Nanna outfit, full of Brown pride.
After, an impromptu captain was nominated and a bad speech given. However, the spoils of the coveted APISC second division were delivered to the deserving team.

Semi-Final 071206

vs Allens FC
6-1
CB 3, DC 1, JH 2

CB, DC, JH, AW, CG, TW, (RH coach)

MOM CB

Oh dear struggling to remember all the details now but here goes..
Our minds were focussed right from the start with some precise strategies from our illustrious Captain who spelt out just what we should be doing, who we should be marking etc.

We took it to them, but also played an excellent defensive game, consistently shutting down their attacks until they started to fall part at the seams and shoot wildly from way out and forget to pass.

We also capitalised on our opportunities making them count at a very high rate.
DC bought one goal with a sprained ankle, our second injury in two weeks after the Howie fibula.

CB got an own goal for the other side which spurred him on to a hattrick to make up for it. But that did mean Allens failed to put one past Gilly at all.

A big match, a big semi-final and now we are set up for a big final with a big tight five with DC in a coaching role. Go Nannas!

Match Report 061109

location: Wesley | nannas: TW, DC, AW, JH, CB, CG, TH | opposition: Foregone Conclusion
score: 6-4 | goals: DC 1, CB 2, AW 1, JH 2 | mom: CB + CG

A tight Nannas ensemble of 7 dismantled Foregone Conclusion in a hard fought victory last night at Wesley.

DC and TW hustled hard at both ends of the court and put through a couple of delectable touches forward into space for CB to run onto.
TH gave 110 per cent with some excellent defensive play.
JH slammed home a couple of scorching strikes.
AW got up for some slippery backdoor action and tackled well.
CB got a couple of better than average goals.
CG “the animated chastity belt” raised the goalkeeping bar again with a double pronged penalty resistance followed by a some classic victory postures.

Nice!

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match report 091106

It was TIGHT and thats how the nannas like it!!!! Tempers were freyed, refs were abused, indians were bumped and victory was signalled!!!!

SCORELINE 6 – 4

MOM – 2 CHris’ – Brown and Gill

Goals were shared, not hoarded, the nannas were a team of MEN. THe crazed nature of the game leaves details blured, suffice to say that we WON.

Details to emerge post game are VERY interesting. Manic promises were made by a lanky memeber of the nannas – who will remain nameless, but his name does rhyme with Bim – that he will purchase an inhaling device known as “the vapouriser” Things we do for our friends….

Also there was one more thing….maybe someone else can remember it….I must have been too “tired” again.

Match Report 261006

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Score 13-2
Goals: 5 for Tao, 3 for Captain, 2 for Cocky, 2 for Jim, 1 for chas
MOM: JH
Team: DC, TH, CB, RH, TW, TK, JH
Opposition: Allens FC

If the Nannas can exhibit the form they showed in the second half of their game against Allens FC last night-even if they played against only 4, most agree they will be serious title contenders come end of season.

The first half however, does pose some serious questions for the coach and upper Nanna management. The most notable problem the Nannas face being their lack of discipline toward each other. One player in the first half was seen constantly shouting at his team-mates only to get the shake of the head from Striker (a serious rebuke) and a smart dressing down from Deep Chasm. Although the CODE of the Nannas was introduced (only last week) to stamp out this unruly on court banter it seems some in the Brown outfit are still yet to learn the benefits of encouragement instead of negativity when playing team sports.

The first half saw a stuttering Nanna outfit coming to grips with hectares of space due to the opposition missing a player. Over the past months the Nannas have been tinkering with a new system, whereby their defence try to dominate possession, passing the ball around and waiting for an opening . At times in the first half this strategy worked but also, due to internal communication that can best be described as hostile, the Nanna shape broke down and the brown outfit became frustrated, mainly with themselves. Half time score 4-1, in favour of the Nannas.

Half time and the Captain said some words, which no one dared repeat later for fear of the his wrath. Whatever was said though worked, as the Nannas held their shape and the ball, pinging in nine goals and conceding only one. Although the opposition was broken within minutes of the returning to court in the second stanza, and most who watched from the sidelines agreed the contest was little more than a training run for the men in brown, the execution and willingness of the Nannas to hold the ball and make the opposition live off scraps was a sight to behold.

Special mention must go to striker for his tireless and unselfish work as a lone hand up front. Having bagged his quota for the night he was willing to station himself as far forward as possible giving time, space and options to those behind him.
Special mention also goes to Chasm for his admirable patience with men who are, prima facie, far beneath him.
Takeshi, the Nanna Japanese import, who has a freakishly low centre of gravity also deserves mention. At the beginning of the match Takeshi’s handling skills seemed a bit below his usual high standards. Realising he was having an off night, he was subsequently seen throwing his body in all manner of directions to compensate. His sliding on his knees to save low shots from the opposition was a particular feature.
Tao and Rhian also had solid games. The former showing his dexterity, put five past the opposing goalie, comfortable with either foot. The latter, well, he continues to go at the opposition and hit them where it really hurts although his trickery did at one point see him almost pulled from court. Late in the second period after a restart the Captain tried something that only he would attempt. The opposition took a speculative shot from halfway and Rhian stuck out a backheal and thought he had it covered. Well, it went through his legs faster than Paul Robinson could say, “oh shit”, and Kondo had no chance. The coach was heard to scream from the side line, “Get that fucking idiot off, get him off now!” but was pulled back by a concerned supporter.

match report 061019

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score: 2-3 | goals: DC 2 | mom: DC
loc: Wesley | team: RH, DC, TK, CB, AW | opp: Forgone Conclusion

A great game against worthy opposition which ended somewhat disappointingly for a Nanna outfit which showed spirit and teamwork if not the height of their skills.

The C.O.D.E was seen to have an immediate effect with Nanna cohesion extremely tight from the outset. Positional play wasn’t as good as it should have been but the defensive work-rate was highly impressive. Forgone Conclusion were a tight unit with some fine skills and were unlucky not to open the scoring but the nannas were playing like a well oiled machine (minus some of the passing accuracy). At half time the score was 0-0 and the captain had to muster sage advice for the troops between gasps for oxygen. The second half started appallingly with all the nannas save Tom basically resigned to a goal being scored following a run from the kickoff, 3 nannas stopped to watch and almost began to walk back to the centre. Luckily the final shot lacked pace and the nannas picked up their game following the let off. There were some nice one twos and few chances with the head, the captain putting a couple of long range efforts in the right direction. The deadlock was finally broken with some great service from Takesh and nice turn from d’Coq. This was added to shortly after with another tight inside finish. The Nans were up 2 goals with a bit of breathing space but the C.O.D.E began to fray at the edges as the opposition niggles became a little less sportsmanly. The running back was getting worse and the captain was seen to stop at about half way and do a bit of spectating. It wasn’t long before FG were queing up for shots on goal as the Nannas side-coaching steadily increased in volume and abusiveness. Eventually FG started scoring and a late chance at the end for Chas could have equalised things but he laid it off to an unsuspecting and off target Coq. Final score was 3-2 which was a disappointing way to finish what was a really tight contest.

photo: Thomas Howie

Match Report

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Ok guys here is a little breakdown of what happened last week. I kicked 3 goals, chas kicked 4 and someone else kicked 1, I think it was Hinkley. But the only thing that kept us from losing was the skill and finesse of the very talented Chris Gill. After getting off to a brilliant first half the second half was classic Nanna’s fading away into the distance. Even with 3 subs on the side line we seemed to not be able to keep running. Very lucky Nanna’s I say. Time to start jogging in the mornings Nanna’s, have to build up the stamina.

That’s it from me. Good luck this week boys as I won’t be there to yell at you.

Match Report 060928

Nannas 28/09/06

location: Wesley | nannas: RH, DC, TK, JH, CB, CG, TH | opposition: tbc
score: 9-2 | goals: DC 3, CB 2, RH 2?, TH 1?, JH 1? | mom: CB

A sloppy start against a skilful opposition.

Nannas pulled themselves together with good positional play encouraged by some firm side-coaching. Good passing and team play coupled with excellent scoring meant the Mighty Fighting Nannas came out way on top. I can’t fault us.

Highlight: Left-footed cross from the MOM to the Captain’s laser guided shoulder nut punched the ball home in marvellous style.

Provocolight: A self-proclaimed “not angry at all” Thomas Howie pressed his chest and armpits forcefully on another man while waving his hands in the air and singing and dancing like Britney Spears on man-hormones. One to rival TW’s infamous lunchgrope.

inaugural match report 060921

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location: Wesley | nannas: RH, DC, TK, JH, AW | opposition: tbc
score: 6-1 | goals: DC 5, JH 1 | mom: DC

A great game which though it didn’t start well ended with atypical vigour from the Nannas.

A tight 5 contingent (after Gilly cited homeland security concerns) took to the court just after 8.30pm to find an opposition that weren’t really up to the task. The nannas took their time to find a rhythm with an early charge from the opp pushing hinkley into a late challenge in the area. Continue reading inaugural match report 060921