Nannas 5 play Coconut soldiers 2

Attendance: GF 1, CG (keeper)2, RH, TH 2, AW, TW CB(ass coach) (I have no idea who got the goals, is this right?)
Virtual attendance: DC (skype)

MOM: GF

The ladder has gone J.L. Borgesian, with nannas crusing down parallel universal freeways, playing the same team, again and again, in endless semi semi finals.
It has begun. We’ll be playing Coconut Soldiers each week from now on for eternity. And we’re all slowly waking up to that fact.
But when you think about it, it’s a pretty good way to spend eternity (and all because some failed player in the Balkans sold his soul to the devil and this was one of his bizarre wishes, but that’s another story).
I think this was the first time, the first time we played the Coconut Soldiers in the semi semi, but we could literally have already played them dozens of times and I probably wouldn’t remember this until years later (like the recurring opening credits to First Blood dream I keep having, where I’m Rambo and I’m coming home).
This may have been the first semi semi though, lets pretend that it was.
We came out strong and dominated the entire game. Andy showed a lot of vigour out there. Tao showed passion. Hinkley and Tom working the field like a couple of grunts digging trenches as the shells are falling. Gilla went a little whacko and got a couple of yellow cards but he looked like he was loving every minute of it. The new ref sorta reminded me of Baklie off Perfect Strangers. In an insane parallel universe infinity maze, his straightness was like a cucumber slices laid out on the mind. My girlfriend was there, and I was elated to score a goal from a quick pivot turn in front of her eyes. I can’t remember shit about the game apart from that, but there’ll be more. There’ll be plenty more.
We did good, we did real good. One of the strongest starts to infinity season one could hope for.

GF (1 MOM) CB (1) DC CG RH TK JH TH

Nanna Core Meltdown. This may have been the end of an era game, the final Albert Park club game. The game I scored a killer goal off the left, through sheer tenacity and a skillset that I have acquired over a very long career. Skills that make me a nightmare for Gassius Clay.

Unfortunately our combined skills were easily good enough to beat Gassius Clay. And that is why we lost.

Because my friends, we didn’t just play Gassius Clay, we played ourselves. And the enemy, was in us. But mainly we just lost because TWO, count em, two refs played in Gassius Clays’ team, even though they had enough players to play without any refs.
This was one of those “Hellshit, even the refs are getting in on kicking some Nanna butts” moments.

I think we probably should have played the season out. Writing this now, it feels like the Nanna’s packed a bit of a sookie-bubba, or at least left on a bit of a dour note.

But to balance that angle out a tad, we were already talking about moving to Preston before the defiling and it sure seemed like a good idea.

Still waiting on the feed back from the Balkan game, but that sounds horrific.

The cook was insanely good. So good I went back there on Friday night for a little more of that chicken popcorn and slow roast pig burger. It felt like we were feasting after a day in the mountains or something. Respect to Gilla for that restaurant selection. 20 bucks each, with beer. Absolutely amazing.

End report.

The kids at school used to call me SuperMiss, such was my perchant for uncoordinated misses of things.
And like Hans Gruber’s sole remaining relative would agree (if there was one and he was also in the burglary business), Old Habits Die Hard.
And so this missing habit, that I mentioned, became ingrained.
If I had one dollar for every time I heard “Ya missed it again huh Fraser? Too bad!”, I’d be a rich man.
But lately, that has all changed. I am delighted to announce my second man of the match in two weeks.
In the last year, I’ve got from sport pariah to sport Hero. But lets not make me sound like a dick with a swell head.
Lets just all acknowledge that I may be turning into a supernova or a superhero or something crazy.
The game itself was a suicide mission for the nannas, but as it was a forfeit fungame, which didn’t count, we can rack that up to training, and experience.
Men, that was the best game of any sport I’ve ever played. It felt like a demonic occupier with amazing soccer skills had possessed my form, and this macabre puppetmaster, was playing the game for me.
Or maybe it was the night beams meditation. I’m pretty sure I didn’t get possessed, but then, how the hell did I play like that? I kept going over it and over it…where did my speed come from, I’ve never had speed before. And then I figured it out.

Kettle Bells. What’s your weight?

8-4 SM AMC. CB(1) DC(1) JH(1) CG(G) RH GF(MOM 1) TW AW

I am just going to say right off the bat, I have no idea who got the goals for us, but I remember Chaz, sweet Chaz plastering the enemy goal with a massive corner shot. And I set one up for the Cockromancer, and figure he got another one, but, I don’t know. Tao might have got one. Stranger things have happened.

I’m feeling good about this season brother Nans. We’re using our heads and passing to make opportunities. Our defense is still a little out of whack, but on the whole we’re looking a lot tighter and more aggressive than we were the beginning of last season. So keep it up fellas, and let’s play like we are machine, with nanna pride. The pride a cougar knows. And one final thought, “night beams”.

After the game, everyone was like, “How the heck did we just get our asses kicked?” I still don’t know, but I think Woody shut our unit down, and we had men out there practically playing blind. You do not want to get field blindness. And the opponents are an interesting bunch. They are continually improving. Their learning curve is something to be considered, I wouldn’t say respected because they sucker punched us, but they certainly improve each week, and we need eyes on these guys.

If this was a cop movie, and the serial killer was playing games with the cop, and the cops partner would say to him, “This crazy fuck’s got a real hard-on for you Lt. McAllister”…well, these guys had a real hard-on for the Nannas. Metaphorically.

We went to Carolina and drank warm beer and ate pizzas and said adieu to Andy who bid fareWal to his friends.

I pulled in some favours from the family and got hold of some neck parma, some salami, and some panchetta for pizza night. Actually, I can’t verify any of those ingredients, it was so long ago, but I’m pretty sure we had salami. We had cheese, I know that much. The white stuff, the buffalo cheese, or danger cheese, as it’s known in milking circles.

Gilla was my Ben Kenobi, coaching me, encouraging me, as I kneaded the door and applied the toppings. There was as air of imminent disaster like a demons possessed shadow, closing in the room as the oven heated.

I told stories about cutting edge sexual deviancy and experimental adult video making, and then once every nanna in the room had turned a ghostly white, we sat down to 4 pizzas.

Then I bid the nans adieu, and they went home to have horrific nightmares about extreme penile pee-pee hole enlargement, and German schizen “cinema.”

We all had the nightmares. We all still do. In time, the sun will rise again.