“stunning theatre” The Age

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Fairfax Theatre, Arts Centre May 20-29.
Review, Martin Ball

THEATRICAL props come in many shapes, but surely few are as intriguing as Mark Cuthbertson’s inflatable sea urchin. This curious object, symbolising a creature designed by nature to destroy intruders, is the eponymous inspiration for Urchin, the inaugural production by new company Encyclopaedia of Animals.

Urchin takes as its point of departure the idea that ”fear” lurks within us. Creators Christopher Brown and Rhian Hinkley explore the powerful motivations fear inspires through a series of increasingly bizarre scenarios. The piece meanders at times and never really arrives at a particular conclusion, but the dramatic journey results in stunning theatre.

Central to its success are the performances. David Tredinnick and Christopher Brown deftly build a texture of ironic commentary on desire, but it is Merfyn Owen who really shines, displaying virtuosic control of his oral delivery. From his initial snake oil spiel to his final embodiment as a Latin-singing shamanistic pastor, Owen is thoroughly mesmerising. Jethro Woodward’s intelligent soundscape complements with suave melodies and savage noises.

MATCHREPORT 20100513

4 – 5 versus D W S Fc

CG (1)(mom), JH (1), AW, TW, TK, Jim (ring in), Dom (1) (ring in) own goal (1)

Soooooooo close. We played the top of the table, we were VERY undermaned. We were steeled for the game. Tao had to call up some ring ins and then me and Andy turned up out of the blue. At least we had two interchange players. It still did not change the fact that things were tough for the brown men of Melbourne.
It was the near cellar dwellar against the top of the table. You know the team the one with the guy with grey hair in it! As things turned out, our ring ins proved to have a few moves up their sleeves. They were good at holding the ball, and laying off a little love. As it turns out Jim was so taken by them he wanted to instate them into the brown fold. Luckily Andy swooped with the rule 12.2 that all Nana applications closed 10 years ago. Maybe Jim is just fishing for new meat. (sorry Chas)
We came out swinging adn got two quick goals that set them on their ass…..Then they came back to level at 2 all by half time. We were doing all right till now. The second half started and we were really flying. It was almost anti nanna behaviour. We quickly went one up when a gaolie trough baffled everybody and flew through the hands of their keeper, only to knock his left nut on the way through. Yes, cheers of badness from the ladies in the crowd. Then they got an own goal and we were really smiling. Perhaps, smiling too much!
There gun forward, (Who we found out later played outdoor for Australia at the last world cup!), pulled a move on Jim that will go down in his anals of history. He stripped the ball from Jim, pulled his pants down, and wacked his johnson on the way past, then he pulled a side step on another nanna and then slotted a top left corner killer. This set up a mini avalanche of three unanswered goals that realllllllly reallllllly hurt.
To make matters worse, dinner was postponed, through lack of browness….
So Close, so disappointing…..

Match report 6 May 2010

Nannas v Los Pitifos

R: 3 all

Att: CB, CG, JH, TH, RH, TK, AW

To do justice to a truly sporting and wholesome evening, the following match report will be separated into two parts.

Part one

Preamble — the following could concentrate on a sloppy game: defence at sixes and sevens; poor passing; no movement; and somewhat stilted attack. But such a report would do a severe injustice to the many events that made up this game. It is events that define a match and there were many events on this eve that were truly special.

There was conjecture before the game that the Nannas would take to the field with only five. As time ticked away toward kick off it seemed there would be only four, as Andy was nowhere to be found. The ref blew for the game to begin, suggesting that he could play for the Browns but just as he did Captain and Chas appeared. Cheers went up, morale soared, and then Andy entered the stadium — yet more cheers and happy brown men.

Chas will be remembered this game, in the early moments at least, for his supreme goal, the first for the Browns. He took down the ball down deep in his own half, dispossessing an opponent, then got round another two on his way to the keeper, who could do nothing to stop his penetrating strike. The Nannas were on their way.

Chas will also be remembered for his guile and deft touch, as he directed away, with hand, a ball destined for an opponent barely a couple feet from Gilla’s goal. The opposition raised their hands and their voices (Chassy surely would have been sent off and given away a spot kick) but the ref was unsighted. Chassy walked away. Nothing doing. His performance was such that even the opposition, who only moments before were baying for his blood, started to doubt what they had seen.

Gill had a moment too. The ref was counting down toward half time: three, two, one. He inhaled ready to blow on the whistle. If there had been a hooter, it would have blown and that would have been that. But the whistle took somewhat longer to get to the ref’s lips and in this time Gilla saw an opportunity and took it, banging out a long range shot. The opposition were already in the sheds by the time the ball hit the net but it didn’t stop the ref pointing to the spot: goal, much to the disbelief of everyone in the stadium. Gilla celebrated like the true striker he is.

Of course, the opposition should be mentioned in this report. They are a miserable bunch of sods, and deserve every bit of bad luck that comes their way, not to mention a good whacking. Their bad sports-person-ship was on display for all to see after this last goal. One went so far as to infer that the ref should be fearful for his mum’s wellbeing.

Now I shall blow my own trumpet. The Nannas were behind a goal. There was only a minute or two left. We had had our chances but we could not get the ball to disturb the back of the net. I found myself playing striker, taking every opportunity to fervently shoulder and back into their keeper and the bad sport (who had threatened the ref), looking for a long ball for Gilla. And then such a ball came. I was pushing into the keeper, trying to take him out of the contest, and when the time came, all I had to do was come out from his goal a couple of steps and head home. I hardly have to point out that there was much sweet joy at seeing the ball hit the back of the net. Sometimes it’s good to get personal.

That was the end of the scoring. It finished all square at three a piece.

Part two

At the Korean restaurant on the menu above pictures of fried chicken it says:
What we’re famous for.

What they are famous for is sticky, sweating oil, smelly fart inducing, tummy rumbling, yet strangely alluring and satisfying, tasty, tongue tickling, and extraordinarily bountiful platters of deep-fried chicken.

We dabbled in the Garlic and Marinated varieties. Suffer the Nannas who missed out on this post match sit down.

Match Report 20100429

1-3 Vs Esperanza
CB, CG(GK), TH, TK, AW, TW(1,MOM)

Giller turned up and the first thing he said was to get angry people. I took that thought to the field. Half way through the first half taking the ball down the line towards the goals I got a bit of a bump from the the Dolf and, due to his hight and girth, a little tap from him does feel like a tonne of bricks coming down you. The ball went out for a corner but I took offence and turned and gave him a bit of a shove. This set him off and the goalie came out to give me a bit of a shove and went on about how I had just ruined the special relationship our 2 teams have……… huh? Have I missed something. A yellow card was pulled out but none of us were sure if it was for me or for Dolf for his reaction to my shove. Needless to say I was sent of for the rest of that half and I sucked it up and went and apologised for my rotten behaviour. The ref, who wasn’t feeling the best with a bit of a cold shook his head at me wondering why I would take on the only guy out there that could snap any one of us like a twig. The Dolf.

In the second half I was on the sidelines, because I had been subbed off not for any other reason, and witnessed the dreadful site of Kondo’s face cushioning his fall as it hit the floor pretty hard. He and an opponent were fairly, I thought, contesting the ball and Kondo may or may not have got a bit of a shove. Kondo bravely got up ready to fight on but was quickly off the the side when we realised that he had in fact opened up a nice little gash just above his eye. On seeing this from a different angle to I the coach lost his mind and started yelling at the ref. This gave the coach a little time in the sin bin also.

I can’t actually remember when the goals were struck but I got the only for us and they scored a couple. And you know what that means. At least we kept it pretty tight on the night.

As most Nanna’s bailed on the cooking that night Tom and I took Kondo to emergency at the Alfred where they quickly had a look at him. Kondo in his rather gallant manner chose not to have stitches but just went with a nice tight dressing in the hope he might be left with a bit of a war wound to show off in later years.

Match Report 2010_04_16

vs
2-3 Loss
MOM CB, DC 2
TH, JH, RH, TK, AW

Wal, Dan and Rhian were late to the game. In fact, we started without them. However, they did not pay for the game because, according to Dan, Tao didn’t pay when he was late. Ok, looks like that rule is null and void.

Moving on. The game. Energetic and large I would call it. Much like Dolph, who was sporting a Rusko (see embedded video posted by dan earlier) style moolay. Sheesh that guy is one large human. He’s got to be eight foot at least. The game was dynamic and exciting. It almost prompted Solly and Issy to speak at one point it was that exciting. There seemed to be a lot of endlessly rebounding balls and swings from attack to defence and back again. DC nailed a couple of sensational oblique strikes and CB was (to quote JH) “supreme in d”. Thanks Jim. TK was defiant in goals saving several unsavables and poking out Dolph’s thunderbolts with unflappable steeliness. TH roared like a wildebeest with a lion’s fang in its quadricep and rallied the troops with considerable zeal. In fact RH and TH did upper management proud with some rousing half-time instructions.
Now finishing this on my phone standing on a train. Second week of Urchin rehearsal. Go nannas!!

match report 010415

fat_lion.jpg

2-3 v Esperanza
DC(2,m), CB (m), TH, RH, JH, AW, TK

Was a while back now and my memory isn’t helping much. it was the B semifinal so not much to play for except pride, but the Nannas™ have more than enough pride being King Lion and all, and obviously the King must have eaten earlier as there wasn’t much hunger see MR 091210 for more on that theme.

Erm… here’s how Jim summised the game, taken from an email;
“We came in a gallant second last night. 3-2. Cocky got two superb goals and Chas was supreme in d, being justly deserved MOM winners.We were plucky, we were brave, but they got us the end. Dolph was big.”

The Captain cooked and we went to Thy Thy 1 for dinner which was very good.

MATCH REPORT 100408

Game: NANNAS vs Hyderoos

Lost 4:8

CB(1), DC(1), JH(1), CG, RH, TH, AW, TW(1), TK(g)(MOM)

We faced the Hyderoos this week and I am reporting about them again. Mmm.. We need good win against this team.
However, you remember their name, how they attack and how they defend themselves.

They have the good strategy to attack as two-man cell. the two men were often moving close enough to cover each other and scored quite few goals this night.
This worked well in their counter situations. I say their defense was deep so that they were sometime vulnerable for our quick solo attacks but kept their defense line at the back tight. We need some strategy to break through this.

Anyway, the game was conducted by the crazy 8 and I witnessed the beautiful long goals and the dribble goals.
I do not have best tactics to beat them but I bet you do. I have to say we will be a bit different next time.
here is the special mention for Gilla. Thanks for coming to see the game at the last minutes. It was great to spend time at Belgium beer cafe before the massive weekend.

I have an announcement that we have been fighting together almost last one decade and we had the celebration event 10th April 2010. (Wait the pictures to be uploaded)
Thank you very much my brother Nannas. We have fought together, challenged together, tried our best together to win the games. It is my honor to share these moments with you.

match report 100401

chas_zip.jpg

3-4 vs OzSpurs ?
DC(1,m), CB(1), AW(1), JH, TK(g)

What a great game. Some tired legs in the second half but a tight five that kept it freaking’ tight! The first half witnessed some of the most composed teamwork I’ve seen in a long time. The Nannas had clear positions, they held those positions and they shut down anything the opposition tried. There was fluid passing, back and across court which resulted in the first goal. The ball moving almost into a corner position before coming back to almost halfway for Chas who laid it into the path of Wal to thread the needle through at least 80% of the opposing team and into the goal. I’m not clear on how their goals came but there was some sloppy work in front of our own goal by the author and also once in particular by Jim which was unfortunately punished. Chas should have had a goal, he bloody deserved it for the run in, in fact it was so compelling he thought after the game that it actually was a goal. The author finally managed to put at one in and Chas did get one real-unimagined-version also. Jim should have scored about 3 if only his shots had been 20cm lower, the woodwork (well metal work) was not on his side either. But shit, what a great game, the tight five really does take the Nannas to a new level, positions, tactics, movement and passing… if only our fitness were up to it. of course the downside of the tight five is a tendency to bail on the after match function, thank god for the west side massive (i.e Jim and Takeshi) who took it to Prudence for a quite one. Super Props also go to Issy for supporting, strong work young man !

date stamp: ten days of hell for the Crooks/Ransoms following a bout of salmonella. brutal. Miri in hospital for 3 days, Rocket™ force weaned, El all scrawny and boney like bitzer maloney. Then Rocket™ and dad on a day trip to Sydney, 2 hours sleep, taxi, plane, train, boat, site visit and reverse… and not a winky time in site.

Match report 25 March 2010

Nannas vs Pornstars
4-1 loss

CB, CG, JH, RH (1)(M), TH, AW

In the beginning
Running free
Corner kick, rocket pass, simple finish.
Spirits lifted
riding a wave of jubilation.

But past the veneer
self-doubt?, catholic guilt?
No
Worse than that
Incoherence.

Leaden feet
Angry words
Forgotten systems
A negative scorecard

Heavy Hearts
Heavy meals
North Melbourne Town Hall
Heavy

nanna jism

Match report 18 March 2010

Nannas vs The Annual

CB, DC, CG, JH, RH, TH, TW, AW(m)
Apologies, I’m unclear on the goals. But we won. Convincingly. Was it about 6- 3…?

This was one of THE best games I can remember in a long time. I don’t know how I stole the mom. I wanted to vote for all nannas. The team was playing like a well lubed machine.

All I can say to the opposition generally, is that I am sick of you all bringing your hot young girlfriends to watch the game. Time after time, you try and just fuck us up mentally. Thinking that the nannas are too old and too gay to be distracted by the other flesh. Well you are wrong. Your strategy is working. It’s upsetting me, and this time you pushed me too far.

On this occasion you bring along your Liv Tyler look alike, all pouting and panting by the side line. I am going to go all karate Chi inverse-energy style on you, using the rabbit-dodging-hyena move, and using your own strength and momentum, I am going to channel that fresh young thing on the sideline, and I am going to reverse fuck you. Me and Bernardo Bertulucci.

It was great to see the Captain back on the court, super fresh, and channelling his own demons into a positive strength. I had a great angle on a near-goal by Chas, who brought it down the line and popped it, unfortunately hitting the post. But so close. This was the only single moment I recall of the actual game. It was otherwise a blur of nanna jism.

It was a huge game. Personally I didn’t get sucked so far up the field, perhaps because I was hanging back for some quality time with Liv, but this paid off.

It was a hot and humid night. Post game we hit Brunswick st for some late night burgers. and then some pool.

match report 100311

suicide-bomber.jpg
suspected suicide bomber sighted on the grounds of Wesley College.

2-1 v ?
DC(1,mom), CG(1,gk), RH(c), CB, TH, AW, TW, JH,

erm… well yes. I guess a lot can be said for second best votes when there’s a few nannas voting. Thank you my brown brothers.
Overall the game was pretty average really. personally I felt we should have beaten these guys by about 6 goals but I was mocked for this view so perhaps not. Chassie was back which added pace and commitment to the nannas game, as well as a quadruple Code Violation™, the first for a red card after assaulting* the opposition goalie. Speaking of goalies, Giller scored another and now has the strikers trophy firmly in sight, but as such has increased his shots-on-goal:passes-out ratio by several orders of magnitude, ironically (or not) this didn’t have much effect on the game because a) half the shots weren’t on target and b) the forwards were so crap they didn’t do anything with the passes they did get. The only other goal came from the authors back, style, not ! The coaching was very fine from the Captain, who shall hopefully be returning to active duty this week. Wal’s positional play as always was spot on, Jim had a couple of fine cracks, Thomas was everywhere and Tao laid off a couple of tasteful and uncommonly early passes.

but more importantly, chassis took us to a pub that was closed, left the car door open and then spilled 2 beers and a soft drink in gillers lap.

but even more importantly,

20 July 2000

the very first day of brown pride has been finally and unequivocally established. Through the use of email searching, whale sperm and oxide of manganese the official date of the Nannas first ever game has been once and for all set in stone.

jesus, I almost forgot about vajazzling…c/o the beChassler

jim“I am dying to look at this but can I do it at work?”
tao “Sure you can. I did. I’m just cleaning up my desk now. You don’t want to work there any way Jim.”
andy “Make a small fire in the bin. Fire alarm sets off. Everyone evacuates. Jim goes on-line.”
tom “but for the Nannas night out I think we need scrotinseling”
chas “the bling minge, first cousin to the blanc mange!”

and as a date stamp I give you this, also from chassis… turn up speakers before pressing play. Also note chassies shirt in the team photo below.

match report 100304

100304_team_small.jpg

5-3 vs Not Sure And The Result Isn’t Up On The Apsic Website Yet
DC(3,mom), CG(2,gk), TK, TH, TW, AW, JH

After many a game, at last a return to form, and a return to winning ways, for the men in brown. It wasn’t looking good at the start. NSATRIUOTAWY jumped in quick with a Zidane like turn in front of goal followed by a shot putting them one up inside the two minute mark. So rudely awoken the Nannas tightened their shit right up. Gilly kept his striker dreams alive with a couple of goals from the other end of the court (I’m still claiming the larger contribution to the second). A goal up heading towards halftime and the Nannas defence went to sleep letting NSATRIUOTAWY back into the game. Determined to not see a repeat of the first half kickoff the nannas were tight as a drum. Then the magic happened. Giller, reading the unambigous hand gestures of the author dropped the ball into open space deep down the right channel, The author managed to hold of his marker whilst doing that crazy 180˚ internal model switch (often required when enjoying a bit of the fris) and manged to slap it goalwards on the bounce… ba bang, 3-2 up. Not 2 minutes later another from the right (with Andy unsighted and perfectly positioned on the left) and the Nannas were two clear. A final glancing header was the nail in coffin. Giller is still safely in the drivers seat for the striker™ crown but a hat-trick from current incumbent threw a bit of spanner in the works…

What else. We ate at Pho Dzung which was good but were unable to get into either section 8 or the rooftop bar which was bad. A large group of aging men in bad clothes are apparently not the desireable client demographic for inner city bars these days… go figure.

timestamp notes:
Aperture 3 is a great update, definitely full interger (though still unable to delete directly off NAS) | New firmware for 5DII out in mid March as well as new log and transfer plugin… tight | RED-MX rollout met by rave reviews | Urchin poster about to go to print | Jim Cameron gets zero statues for Avatar | Fraser recommends Breaking Bad | April 10 locked in for the first of the Nanna anniversary celebrations | Tao coins controversial name Nannettes for the Nanna WAGs | The blog moves to new local servers | IMAP embraced by blog administrators

MATCH REPORT 100225

Game: NANNAS vs Esperanza

Lost 1:4

DC, RH, TH, AW, TW(1), TK(MOM)

The night was started from watching a motivational video clip brought by the coach.

The video was probably created somewhere in Europe with a most deluxe TV show stage with many of frying cams.
There was a really toll man in black tuxedo at the middle of the big band, singing smooth and well. We were wondering who is the guy… then some one screamed “He must be Dolph Lundgren!”
Yes, Ivan Drago is now singer. I could not believe what I saw but I should have known that the Karate champion who entered MIT should be able to do other things. He is well known actor. of cource He can sing well and dance well.

What impressed me most was that he moved to the side of the stage in the middle of the show. then he started chopping wood plates and massive ice slates by his hand. Go Dolph! All of them are in the total choreographed way. Now I can believe he is Ivan Drago. Who else can chop the things without tools? Mmm.. his Karate chops shivers me.

I think the point is that we should play the game like “float like butterfly sting like bee” … may be no… it is from by Muhammad Ali…..
Well, we should have some accents or contrast in our show. We should try some innovative skills and tricky moves at the start then finishing off by the good old most reliable signature attacks.  

Anyway, the game was against the Esperanza which is now our nemesis from the last division. Remember that we are getting better and better against this fast paced team. The special mention for the captain to sacrifice his leg to keep us brown. We will see the better result next time. It was a great goal TW. I liked the way he scored the goal real quick just after we lost a goal.

AW took us to the fancy Mexican bar in the city. Very tasty beers and nice food!

MATCH REPORT 100218

Game: NANNAS vs Hyderoos

Lost 4:6

JH(1), CG(2), RH, TH, AW, TW, TK(1)(MOM)

Not one but two goalie goals. (quoting from funky nanna)
This happens so often recently. I have been wondering how we play our games?? Do we play some kind of new long range scoring soccer?
Are we trying to get some lucky goals? The answer is No…

It only happens when our dedication, the concentration and the pressure are grater than the opponent’s one. The energy suppresses the whole court and you feel the strong wind is blowing you from your back. We played the first half very well in Nannas way.

Good old Hyderoos which has been staying in this division is not ranked as low. They are tough and some of them have good foot skills to dominate the middle court. We challenged them the last half but the energy was not same as the first half.

You remember that we were fighting against them so many times at the time. We had good wins and bad loss. They have got a little better control this time but it would not be same in the next game. DWS Fc, The Annuals, Hyderoos are great measurement for our dedication and concentration.

Take a deep breath…hold the feeling… release it at the next game.

Match Report 20100211

Game: Nannas Vs Ozspurs
Result: 1-4
Players: JH, CG(GK), RH(MOM), CB, AW, TH, TW 1(MOM)

Another hot wet night but not as sticky as the week beofre. While the Nannas didn’t play too badly the other team were not that much better but they were just that much better. This allowed them to get 3 goals up in the first half. Without a doubt we let them take us hard in the first half and it wasn’t till the second half that the Nanna’s stood up and started acting like real men.

The second half was much tighter and we managed to draw…….the second half. Of course this didn’t mean we drew the game. Our only goal came from a lovely throw from Giller to me and I took it nice and slow off my foot on the turn and managed to tap it past the goalie as he tried to rush me.

The Nanna’s kept their cool most of the time except for an incident that should remain unmentioned. There was also a moment when Hinkley had an AFL leap onto his back that could have turned into an all out brawl and nearly was except for the cool calming influence of the ref we have been blessed with this season. We must insist wherever we play in whatever division we must have him.

MATCH REPORT 11/02/10

Game: NANNAS v’s ozspurs

Result 1 : 4

TEAM: JH , CG, AW , RH(MOM),CB , TW 1 (MOM), TH

Once again the Nannas can hold their heads up. Sure it’s not a victory hold, it’s not one of those weeks when you hold your head with both hands and really work up some serious friction. But it is a hold to be proud of, a single handed hold, maybe with the thumb free, maybe not. A hold that’s firm and purposeful and an action that has rhythm and spirit, a good honest hold.

That’s how I’ve found myself on several occasions this week, in a good honest hold, nothing flamboyent, no need for external stimulus but nothing fancy either. And that’s the problem. Next week I want to hold my head with a vigour that can only be found from a Nanna victory. It’s all very well saying that we played proudly, played well and were unlucky but losers don’t win trophy’s and that’s why we’re there.

It’s not that we need to do anything new. just do the things that we’re doing better. Chase harder, mark tighter and pass early – I can’t say it often enough – Pass early, pass early pass early pass early pass early.

Thomas took us to the Belgian Beer Cafe to perve on 16 year olds and their girlfriends.

MATCH REPORT 04/02/10

Game: NANNAS v’s Pornstars

Result 6 : 7 ?

TEAM: JH , CG 1, AW , RH 3 (MOM),CB 1 , TK, TW 1

Yes we lost, and that’s how it will stand in the scoresheets for eternity but this was a fit and agile Nanna outfit that took the game by the horns and that’s how we wish to be remembered.

This was a big step up for the Nans whp have been struggling with the heat and general lack of talent for several weeks now. There was cohesion, there was vision and there was determination, in short we had great cohvisination, and that’s what we needed. We created chances in front of goal and we punished mistakes at the back. We were unlucky not to go further in front, squandering a couple of easy opportunities.

At the back things tightened up, but they could tighten further still, its the old “mark your man” routine that let us down and our lack of drive post half time.

This game can be seen as a marker in the season, we turned around some bad form and built a platform from which to develop. The next quarter looks good for an increased revenue stream with off shore alliances proving resilient to the battering handed down by the European situation. If monetary funds can hold off from reporting on prospective capital acquisitions we can see real opportunities in the “winning” sector.

Takeshi took us to a favourite old haunt – prudence – and I reminisced about the night a stripper removed my pants upstairs.

MATCH REPORT 29/1/10

Game: NANNAS v’s THE (dirty) ANNUAL

Result 5 : 6

TEAM: JH 1, CG 2(mom), AW 1, RH 1,CB, TK.

An absolute tragedy of Greek proportions!!!

The faced off with the Christians they were so sweet. They got the first goal with a corner becomes a header affair, which sucks…..Then we slammed them with not one but two goalie goals. That usually shuts them up!!
And shut them up it did. Actually I should take you back to the start when the Captain gave us a rousing speak about composure against the Annual, that’s their secret he mused….they thrive in chaos. Like a butterfly flapping its wings on the sideline we began.
The game was TOTALLY on our terms. At the start of the second half they equalised again as we let our guard down. But through some golden greek moves from Andy “8.22” Wong we stretched clear again.
Five minutes to go and two goals clear…….Looking good. But then the winds of change blew at us like a MASSIVE butterfly with wings like a god damn sailboat. Both of their goals were arsey deflections…..They drew level and then reached into their christian asses for some more deflection shizzen! Oh it really bought us down…..7 seconds to go……
The pain does not lessen with pharmaceutical assistance…..
Rhian cooked at the Riverside….we booked an act for the Nanna ball there. the crazy office crew!

MATCH REPORT 21/1/10

GAME Nannas versus D W S Fc
RESULT n 1 : D W S Fc 6? maybe
PLAYERS CG, JH 1, TK, AW, RH (mom)

Once again it was a very tight first half, and the Nannas played well. Defence was fine, offence was coming together. Big Jim made his presence felt in the box, and we all know the smile that that produces.

Technically we began to put things together, second week runnning for the tight five and we were finding out groove, slowly, things were happening.

Then a little thing that I like to call “the second half” reared its ugly head and for the second week running the tight five slowed down just a touch. Infact it became a performance piece as the Nans attempted to outdo each other in lack of movement. It’s a very clever mind game, the only problem was that the opposition wasn’t clever enough to see it. If we had been playing a group of really clued up guys we would have screwed with their heads real bad. Unfortunately the dullards in the opposition just saw it as unfit sweaty men gasping for air and ran around us in a completely uncivilised manner.

It’s all about fitness for the next few weeks, I’ve downloaded the complete first season of Jane Fonda Work Out, oohh she’s hot, she’s real hot, and she sweats, she sweats like a man sweats, great rivers of sweat pooling in those artificial fibres. Take a swim gentlemen, dive in and swim with me, swim to the future.

MATCH REPORT 14/1/10

nannas_100115.jpg

GAME Nannas versus Vagabundo Del Prias
RESULT n 1 : v d p 9
PLAYERS CG (mom), JH 1, TK, AW, RH

What a game of two halves. Firstly we were pretty surprised that the actual school had been opened for us. That was a good start. We were the tight five, infact we will probably be now known as the tightish five.
The first half was a relatively good one. It finished at 1:1. They got a cheeky one and then Jim was given a penalty, which he slammed past their keeper. At the change over we were realitively positive. The night was actually quite warm and as it turned out our run was stiffled by this heat. The second half was a victory to the nannas in that they didn’t get 10 goals against us. There were accusations that there was a “little” bit of anger directed AMONGST the team. I MIGHT has been a LITTLE bit responsible, but they still voted me as the MOM, so I couldn’t have been that bad. It must have been Jim.
The Nannas were really good in the first half and kudos goes out to them for that.
The night was turned on its head with the cookin though…
the Nannas went to the HUTONG DUMPLING Palace!!! Who ever thought that you could get a pork dumpling that had beef soup IN the dumpling!!!!!!!!!!!!INSANE!!!!!!!!!!
The Bamboos rocked a fine set afterwards at the Uptown Jazz cafe!

100107 first team photo of the decade, back at Joe’s

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witness the stillness…

3 nannas remain motionless for 13 seconds while a forth is a blur of Rocket™ management in the background. I think the guy with the white T-shirt must have been rolling a reefer or perhaps he’s just a generally very still person.

back at Joe’s in a mirror reflection of last year’s cooking sequence…

ordered:
1x Large Tom Cooper
1x Large Hannan Special (Marhgaretta with extra Pepperoni)
1x Large Rosemary’s potato special
1x Large Eine Swine
1x Large Capricciosa minus the porcini (for plebian children)

Match report 17-12-2009

Game: Nannas versus Esperanza
Result Nannas 4, Esperanza 2
Players CG, DC, CB, RH, AW, JH, TH (coach)

Preamble
Only a week following a loss in the grand final, and the again the Nannas lined up against Esperanza. Cocky in his match report put our loss down to not being hungry enough, living life a bit too large but this analysis is somewhat flawed. Yes we did play shit, and yes we did not deserve to win but it was not due to a lack of hunger.
It was more due to an over hunger, which made us play like an over eager teenager about to lose his virginity. The Nannas fumbled, the Nannas rushed unnessarily, the Nannas thought that every thrust had to be an incisive penetration.

I remember a lot of shouting, a lot of very shit, stunted play, although Cocky did slot home a very nice goal.

Compared to last’s nights game, the contrast could not have been greater.
Mention should be made of their eight-foot colossus, Dolph, who was replaced by his younger brother Irwin, who also deputised for most of the game in goal.

Last night’s game

There was passing of all variety, back passing, intelligent passing, passing that was quick and direct. But importantly this was coupled with a lot of movement off the ball. It was once said that Ian Wright was the best striker that England produced because he could create space not only for himself but for teammates through his running and movement. Words to think about.

In post match comments, again debate raged about the best approach for a final. On last night’s evidence six is the magic number. But let’s examine this formation and its merits. Coach was on the sidelines (which may or may not be the best place for him), and dapper as all get out, in his Arsene-style blue suit, coupled with New Balance sneakers, he talked a lot of sense to the Nannas, and this influence should not be underestimated. Gilla held the goals. Cocky spearheaded of our attack. Captain and I held the back. Chas patrolled the centre. And Wal watched for any cracks that opened backdoor.
It should be said here that while certain elements were missing from our game with different Nannas absent, the tight six is infinitely better than the bloated eight. First off a player only stays away from the action for two minutes, which is enough time to get a breather or recollect himself, as the case may be, and after a good speaking to by coach he can then throw himself into battle not having lost momentum but also in a directed manner. The tight six also has merit for building a combination throughout the game. What’s more defence is much easier to marshal, although you still have to yell at Cokcy and Chas to get on their man (but a good invective at the two aforementioned is almost as good as one at Tao).

There were only two lapses in defence for the Nannas that resulted in goals against us. The first one was mine, which I was duly and rightly criticised for. Even though I was marking my man, he got the drop on me after the ball took a deflection from the corner, but I was flat footed, which is always a fatal mistake so close to goals.
The second goal came with some confusion about who was picking up whom as the opposition ran with us. I shouted at Chas and Cocky, and Gill shouted at me, by which time they had three on one (me) and then it all went to shit.

But happily I got a hat trick, which more than made up for any defensive failings on my part

All in all a strong performance by the Nannas.

match report 091210 – Grand Final

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1-2 v Esperanza
CB, DC(1,mom), CG(gk) JH, RH, TH, AW, TW, TK(coach)

It wasn’t my first thought but I did consider doing a hack job of sticking some nannas faces onto the morbidly obese (but happy) young ladies above. I decided not to for a couple of reasons. a) there were only four ladies and it would be mean to single out individual nannas, I suppose I could have made two headed nanna lady monsters… b) I didn’t really have time.

anyway, the reason I have included the figure above is to illustrate what I felt was the main failing of the nannas on this glorious night. The first Grand Final the nannas have seen in a long time saw a team that was simply not hungry enough. I was going to put another image here of a terrifyingly scrawny girl to illustrate the hunger of the opposition but it was too disturbing. Anyway, suffice it to say that they wanted it more. The nannas had some moves, some passing, a few saves, a few shots, but they didn’t have the fire, the drive, the were living just a little too large.

and if you don’t watch it this is what happens when you live too large…

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Match report 091203

Match report 2009-12-03
Vs gassius clay (semi-final)
3-2 victory

Through through through 
We are 
Through through through
It is true true true

We beat the angriest of the angry. The first goal came off the foot of the writer from a side ball. It glanced under the opposition’s foot and hit the net. The second goal was also mine and was a shot from right to left just outside the D. I took a second to line it up and the shot was true. The third and most sublime goal was off the foot of the back door specialist. Several passes back and forth in Nanna possession before a silkily elegant finish from the Walmartin.

Tao got a red card and was sent off in dubious circumstances. Kudos to Tao for demonstrating some calm. Strange that Jim started yelling at me when I complimented Tao on his calm but I guess he got the wrong end of the stick .

nanna training

26 november. playing: full nanna squad.

The ultimate showdown.

This is the kind of potential which has been talked through the eras. How would the nannas be split into two teams? tallies vs shorties, oldies vs youngies, skins vs cuts. Out on the table. Modestly prevailed and a rotating system was spreadsheeted. A nanna speciality – spreadsheeting. Browns vs golds. Poo vs piss.

Full team nannas rocked up deep west to the Scray. We had a court beside the cricket. In nine years, this was the first time we had ever played in nets, continuous off the ‘walls’. It took us a while to get into the flow. The understanding that if you miss a pop at goals, it bounces back, and you just keep popping. It was physically intense as there was no down time. No little pauses. And no subs.

We played 4 quarters of ten minutes each. The freshly turned 40 year old Wal was fucked after the first 5 minutes. Sweating like a nanna, this was super intense. But the nannas just keep kicking goal after goal after goal. This was too much fun. Employing snooker tricks, and bouncing the balls off the wall. Some gold cross-court passing. Final scores were 59-61.

I had a very sleepy Izzy on the bench, and so had to leave early, unfortunately missing the dinner. But most nannas would have slept well this night.

But we must do that again. If for no other reason, than for the rebirthing experience. That was tight.