THE NANNAS versus ESPERANZA

2 v 6

CG (mom) AW, RH, JH 1, TW, CB 1, TH

Against our OLD foe, our arch rivals….the new nemesis….It was 1 ALL at the first half. Things were looking good. Admittedly I saved a couple, but we were thrusting and they were sweating…..

It was good to have the captain back, it had been a long absence for him and for the Nannas too. A rudderless course through the choppy waters of indoor pain. He looked lean and mean but like Thomas had gotten, he too was about to get a little bit older.

I was putting in pretty hard! But it was in good spirits. When the second half opened up so too did our goals that I was supposed to be defending! They slammed on a few quick one and made us look like we were all getting that little bit older and slower.

That said, we finished off with run in the legs and hope in the eyes.

Afterwards we learnt a VITAL lesson, don’t EVER hang out on the Southside. We tried to go to Red Bennies but the door bitch really was….

Thats why its called the Southside….

The look on Tao’s face as he drove off, so disgusted with me, but I have to say Tao, it was karma, meant to be….just as well the captain was not there to see another loss for the Brown Men

23 September: CG (mom), TW, JH, TH, AW (mom), and the good Guido (2).

I was fresh back from 3 weeks in Fiji. I was in rhythm with my natural cycles, the moon and the tide. This is a good place to be.

There’s a 90 kilo pig. I’m in a village on a remote island. And the village is keen to feast. The chief instructs to kill the pig. Humanely. He has no desire to kill it, and feigns an obligation to the kava bowl. “Knock it out first blow. Axe to the head. Then knife to the throat. Don’t fuck it up. Do. Not. fuck it up. I do not want to hear it”.

We lost 3-2. There was a lot of nanna absence. Few overseas. Few sick. Yep, it’s the tail end of Melbourne winter. Some absence is accounted for. Others are just hiding, quivering in a hole.

It’s 5am. The men dig a big hole, then light a big fire within it. Lots of volcanic rocks are thrown atop. All the fire is then removed. The rocks glow white hot. The pig is so big it has to be cut into pieces. These are then woven tight with palm leaves. Then thrown onto the hot rocks. Then covered in more palm leaves. Then the entire pile covered in earth. It steams hot for hours. What an aroma. And then we feast.

Gill saved numerous goals, and appeared to spend much of the game horizontal. In the air, arms outstretched, just saving goals like a man possessed. Guido, our latest regular ring-in, kicked our only 2 goals. And I had nearly ‘pussied’ the ring-in request.

It was strange to be back in civilisation and wearing shoes. But it was great to be back with the nannas on a court, kicking a ball.

THE NANNAS vs GENESIS

2 v 7

AW(Mom) CG (Mom) TH, JH, Guido, TW, ???any more???

My memory of this one is fading…..and fading fast….We were spanked really, and spanked by a team that WE spanked the week before. (Which Dan will attest to SOON). We had a ring in, we were the tight six and yet, nothing went right.

I can’t even remember who got the goals. At least we had the good ref there….Speaking of the good ref, I’m sure he wished me well for the up coming grand final. Infact I am sure he did. And I am alos sure that at drinks afterwards around the corner on Jim’s behest, Andy laid down a bet that – he bet $10 that Colling wood would lose the grand final. The one thing I am unsure of if there was any mention of odds.

As it tuned out the Grand Final was initially played between Collingwood and St Kilda and it resulted in a DRAW – it was insane. I woke up Sunday morning with a pulsing ulcer in my mouth, a testement to the stress and anxiety that ravaged my body that week.

The next week was equally tense, with no nannas game in sight we forged forward through the dirty week of a BYE (never to be mentioned out loud) and found ourselves at another grand final – you wouldn’t read about it.

COLLINGWOOD were undoubtedly the greatest team ever to touch the turf as they bitch slapped the life out of St Kilda. Heath Shaw’s save and Alan Didak’s goal and subsequent shimmy still find me hard today!

As the final siren blared my ulcer subsided and life turned a shade of amazing!

I even got a nice text from Tom at the end of it all…………….

Nannas-7 Vs Hampton FC-4

DC(3), JH(1), JM(MOM), KD(GK), TW(3)

This post was written by James Mercer who so heroically came to our rescue after just finishing a game down at the pits then riding to ours only to find out there were no subs. And to James’ credit he had written this and sent it tome before the commencement of the next game.Well done James.

Players: JH, TW, TK, Guido, Marco
Goals: JH 3, Marco 3, Guido 1, Tao
MOM: JH, Guido/Marco
Official score: Nannas 9 v opponent 6
Unofficial score: Nannas 8 v opponent 7
Time in possession: 65%
Passing efficiency: 75%
Shots on goal: 20

Pre-game
The Nannas were a paltry three. Cocky, Wal, Captain and Coach were overseas. Gill was somewhere but not willing to tell us. Chas had to do something or other, I forget. So there we were, low on number, low on Nanna love, and with most of our usual ring-ins not available. Then Tao rang a Brazilian friend who was super keen to play. What’s more he had another of his countrymen who was up for a kick.

During the warm up our Brazilians did amaze with their tricks and sideways passes and back heals. Admittedly I had only seen the Captain really attempt these things before in real life before, so you could say I am easily impressed. But then, just before kick off, one of them said, ‘the best way to play is everyone start from the back and just continually counterattack.’ Needless to say I was wetting my pants with anticipation.

The game
The game that transpired was always going to go in the Nannas favour. We had most of the ball (even though in the first five minutes of the second half it seemed like we would never see it again). The passing was crisp and most of the time well directed. We did let in some very simple goals (which for the most part were of our own making), but our defence was only truly opened up on one or two occasions but on these occasions the opposition was greedy in front of goal and we were lucky that most of the time they chose to shoot instead of crossing to a team mate (who, by the way, would stand there yelling at his avaricious team mate). The most telling thing was how easily we could get free from our markers leaving us with heaps of time when a pass did come. For two of the three goals I scored, the ball found me in acres of space where I had lots of time to steady and shoot. This time and space can be put down to one thing: the control we had in possession and the threat this posed to the opposition. Usually our opponents know that when playing us, the ball, sooner rather than later, will come back to them via an over ambitious one-touch, a needless attempt at something fancy or just the sheer one dimensionality of our play—we only know one way of attacking—forward quickly and at all costs—so they know what to expect and where the ball will be. In short, we’re not hard to pick off. Not this time. Because we held onto the ball and because we were able to move and position ourselves around that possession, we did to our opposition what most good teams do to us—wait until an opportunity presented itself, then exploit it without mercy.

Analysis
There has been a faction in the Nannas that have been advocating for a new style of play for some time now. I say forget that, this would be very much like trying to teach old dogs new tricks. What the Nannas need is a playmaker and instead of trying to invent one out of current stock, we should just bring in some talent. Indeed, as the transfer window deadline approaches we need act and act quickly. The only question that remains is do we go to ten Nannas or do we sell in the transfer window? Upper management?

At Vodka Borsch and Tears. Guido cooked on this night. Missing link is Marco.

vs Platini
Won for the game (FF) The practice game 4-7
CB(1), DC(2), TH (Coach), TW(1), JH, AW, TK(Goalie Mom)

Hearing one and knowing ten, we are back in Wesley.

We are in a new division in the new season. The Div is called 2/3.
What is going on!!? I noticed that the world became a little crazier after the weekend…
However, there are lots of old best enemies to test out our new skills and new strategies which we gained in the man weekend (except brain memory)
Now we play smarter as a unit.

The first impression was the improvement of the pass works. I can see all of us are focusing on finding space, creating space, trusting the team more than before and positioning ourselves right way. As we often having the shots from far back of the penalty area, this new strategy is the way of the victory. We score goals because we have good fire power. But we understand that it is not good enough to win.

I witnessed that there are so many beautiful cross passes and quick one two passes. Some of them looked like a Toss juggling. It worked beautifully as you just felt or imagined. We had a great test run this night. The downside of the new style is “We are not used to run back to the defence position from this practice”.

We might need to add Aikido’s most deadly technique “The defence is to deflect the enemy’s power then create the chance to attack” + The second last person from back needs to position better to stop the counter attacks. I do not know how? This could be our next challenge.

My personal quest “Where is best table BBQ for Nannas?” still continue. We went to a Korean BBQ near Brown ally and Goldfinger. The striker loved the Soju and had a happy time.

Match report 12 August 2010

Nannas vs the other side(?)

CB, CG, DC, TK, TW, TH, AW. goals??? (sorry)

I’m in a haze of post nanna weekend. There was a (terrifying) flying fox. There was a fire. And a pig. There was some table tennis. There was some french toast. It was the best catered for weekend that one could dream. There was magic. And there were stains. Did it all really happen?

I believe it did happen, because I can’t remember anything of the game. The part of my brain normally assigned match memory, has instead been assigned basic motor skills, cleaning teeth and tying shoelaces.

The nannas were up 3-0 at half time. It was a physical game. Lots of pushing. Someone got a yellow card. Someone kicked a nice pass. Someone else got a yellow card. By game-end the entire nanna squad had a code violation. In classic nanna form, we stopped playing at half time and the opposition beat us 5-3.

Post game we drank at Meyers Place. They had no cabana platters. This topped off a dismal loss.

I’m on a horse.

test post

Anyway pretty much what happened was the coach said “dick slapper” where upon: Cocky did visual representation (including mouth), Chas and Jim had a ‘moment’, Tao looked on like he’d never heard the word before, Captain tried to smirk it out like he was above it all, Takeshi stared in wonder at the moment that Chas and Jim were having and the concept rang so true with Andy that he could not contain himself. Meanwhile the iPhone focused beautifully on the floor.

First geotag, dang
that is some next level shit…

*edit – ok captain we need to update the theme to one that supports geotagging, the nannas need that shit, this is where we go all AR on it’s arse…

this is a test

Nanna’s 7-4 Yeth

CG(G), TH, RH(1), JH(4), CB, TW(2)(MOM)

I looked up the meaning of Yeth and the following is what I found:

1.     Yeth
1. A synonym in the northeastern United States for marijuana, hash, and all drugs containing THC. Encompasses all types of marijuana; everything from shitty outdoors and beasters to potent strains. 2. To smoke marijuana.

1. Fuck… we’re all out of yeth. Does anyone want to match me on a slice?
2. Turn off the lights, turn on Pink Floyd, and let’s yeth a blunt.

2.     Yeth
The embellished version of saying “Yes”.

Also, how a person with a lisp might say “Yes”.

1. Yeth, you sure did the number on that mofo.

3.     Yeth
To masturbate furiously
Oh yeth!

1. I just yethed that motherfucker!

Not sure which one best describes the guys we played that night but it doesn’t really matter because the Nanna’s were on fire…. oh yeth we were. Some of the best passing across court I think I’ve seen the Nanna’s ever do and even when the pass wasn’t given there was nearly always someone there just in case it was needed. This wasn’t classic Nanna’s this was Nanna’s of new, champagne Nanna’s for our tenth almighty year.

nannashutong.MOV

Nanna’s 6-1 VJFC
DC(2)(MOM), TH(GK)(MOM), CB, RH, AW, TW(2)(MOM)

The hat-rick of nights. It was a hat-rick as 3 Nanna’s scored 2 goals each and it was a hat-rick that 3 Nanna’s basked in the glory of the MOM and it was possibly a hat-rick that Chas chose yet another closed venue. Ok, the last one may have been the 4th or 5th time, I can’t remember. Ok all that stuff I just said was stretching a long bow but hey hard to top Tom’s rant.

When I arrived at the pits that night I noticed the only other team downstairs warming up were in their german uniforms and thought “shit I hope we’re not playing them as we could get done nice and hard like the socceroos did in the world cup”. As it turned out we did them nice and hard. It was Nanna gold that night. Coming together as a team to take down the enemy.

Special mention has to go out to Thos who only let one through, as well the defence that kept our goalie (in the waiting) out of harms way. The passing was exceptional and the control of the ball on the night was extraordinary. Great passes across goals that most of the time lead to points on the board.

I hope everyone is recording their favourite matches from the world cup and watching them before every game we play in the future as it certainly seems to help.

indeed, Old King Lions third set of balls were swinging with a pendulous grace. I would also add that the Urchins were displaying some very nice linkup work in the midfield, those weeks spent hunkered in the shadows of each others jockstraps shunning their brother nannas must have fostered a special understanding of each others bodily rhythms which they have brought back to the court of battle… ahem.. yes. It was also Jim’s birthday (and Rocket’s) but Jim was sick so he didin’t get his special present from the Nannas, which was a shame. It was Chassies turn to cook and he chose somewhere that was closed…again, so we went to Prudence and drank some watery piss coloured beer that Peter’s minions were trying to pass off as Kirin while discussing options for the Nan’s ten year anniversary hoody.

Nannas 6 vs V J F C 1
2 goals each to DC, TW, and RH (is this right?)
with TH(GK), CB and AW making just as valuable contributions

Time stamp this bitch with all the world cup shit that‘s happening cos Old King Lion went Portuguese on their North Korean arses.

Old King Lions ball’s were at home minding the children and Old King Lion’s other balls had hurt their ball back so Old King Lion’s third set of balls – who btw don’t get out that much, mostly just sitting around looking at the action the other ball sets are getting so that when they get the call they’re like; “wtf? I gotta balls on and be balls all of a sudden? I gotta work the semen up the cremaster to the vas deferens or some shit? I kinda remember how to do that. Where’s my other knee pad?” – had to step up. Well truth be told set of balls number 3 had it pretty easy, like being the balls in a banging a super hot lingerie model equation it wasn’t that hard to do – a lot of soft shots and easy smack downs. Set of balls number 3 liked what he saw on the field too, lots of hustle, lots of desire, lots of smooth flowing play. In fact it wasn’t only the balls in goals ballsing up, the whole fricken team was ballsing right up if you don’t mind sir – and read between the lines peoples (the lines in this case being the oppositions name which being as it was V J F C [acronymously Va Jina Fanny Crack])- and what do balls do when faced with such an entity? Why what is their very nature of course; the only thing they can do for it is a hard wired into the core of their being; THEY GET THEIR COARSE PUBICITY ALL UP IN THAT VAGINAL BUSINESS .Yeah that’s right balls right up in your face it aint pretty but it’s real.

How is the taste?

Silence…
Thanks Andy.

Nannas versus Annual
Result N 3: A 8
Attendees: AW, James, JH, TK, TH, TW

These have been strange times for the Nannas. Yes we have been under manned. Yes there is too much art going on for my liking (I especially dislike people who go to Sydney for some artsy fartsy something or other. Sydney? Jesus!) Yes there has been ring ins. Yes it is a new season. But, in spite of all of that the Nannas, on this evening at least, something was missing.
I think I noticed it when I scored my first goal. The ball went into the back of the net. There was silence from the opposition — to be expected. There was silence from our side too. I mean come on: it was a freaking great goal. I took the ball in mid court, shifted it onto to James, who shot it back to me as a ran on, leaving me one on one with the keeper — no contest.
But the signs were there earlier too. It was all about soft goals, soft goals, soft goals. Sure, the Annual usually deal in soft goals but on this night, soft turned to real soft, and as they scored again and again they just got softer and softer. Granted, they did have a new player, who was particularly skilled but we have faced off with far better equipped opponents than us before. We do it almost every week. But like NSW playing against the Maroons, we were always going to lose, we were always going to be a step, goal behind. Not a very happy statement but a true one.
Anyhow, I think I shall stop this lament now before I get real upset and start talking about how I miss my absent brothers in arms, and how I hate the bright lights of the beached capital of Australia, and how I hate passing years and their toil for not much reward, like any true Tiger, Carlton or Collingwood fan would know, and how the Nannas are still a strong beast if we could get some continuity and a structured game plan and a regular starting line-up but then I think that this is the beauty of the Nannas, that ugly multi-headed beast that has many sides and many personalities, which will fight and pull at each other as much as it will any opposition or ref, and how when that that mixture really becomes an amalgam of many but commensurate parts the Nannas can really play, and while some might say that the Nannas haven’t learnt much over the years and our style of play has become predictable and our opponents know only too well, I have to say that such a line is a travesty to all Nannas and I never said it, and if I did I recant.